Difference between revisions of "Talk:Brendan Paul"
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| + | Hey Brendan, | ||
| + | You did a great job of comparing the real you to your identity on Facebook. Using your sonal interests, you showed how your avatar reflects who you are and what you find interesting in real life. The examples you provided were extremely helpful in communicating this effectively. | ||
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| + | However, I think that your post would benefit from a longer "What's Missing and Why" section, in order to better understand why and how these things are missing from your profile. This would add a lot of depth to your analysis of your Facebook identity, and how it is different from your real-life identity. | ||
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| + | Your "My Avatar" section provided some key insight into your motivations for beige more private on Facebook, and how you do use Facebook's more private features often. Adding a section on each would be informative. | ||
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| + | Your statement is very well crafted. Your "What's Missing and Why" section is a good transition between your intro section and your interests section. Grammar is excellent; I did not see any errors. Logically, it flows very well. Some of your closing remarks would benefit from being in the intro, thereby strengthening your post's structure. Otherwise, the quality of the writing is very good. Thanks for a great read! | ||
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| + | Cheers, | ||
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| + | Jose | ||
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Comment #2: | Comment #2: | ||
Revision as of 13:54, 29 March 2016
Comment #1:
Hey Brendan,
You did a great job of comparing the real you to your identity on Facebook. Using your sonal interests, you showed how your avatar reflects who you are and what you find interesting in real life. The examples you provided were extremely helpful in communicating this effectively.
However, I think that your post would benefit from a longer "What's Missing and Why" section, in order to better understand why and how these things are missing from your profile. This would add a lot of depth to your analysis of your Facebook identity, and how it is different from your real-life identity.
Your "My Avatar" section provided some key insight into your motivations for beige more private on Facebook, and how you do use Facebook's more private features often. Adding a section on each would be informative.
Your statement is very well crafted. Your "What's Missing and Why" section is a good transition between your intro section and your interests section. Grammar is excellent; I did not see any errors. Logically, it flows very well. Some of your closing remarks would benefit from being in the intro, thereby strengthening your post's structure. Otherwise, the quality of the writing is very good. Thanks for a great read!
Cheers,
Jose
Comment #2:
