Talk:Brendan Paul
Comment #1:
Hey Brendan,
You did a great job of comparing the real you to your identity on Facebook. Using your sonal interests, you showed how your avatar reflects who you are and what you find interesting in real life. The examples you provided were extremely helpful in communicating this effectively.
However, I think that your post would benefit from a longer "What's Missing and Why" section, in order to better understand why and how these things are missing from your profile. This would add a lot of depth to your analysis of your Facebook identity, and how it is different from your real-life identity.
Your "My Avatar" section provided some key insight into your motivations for beige more private on Facebook, and how you do use Facebook's more private features often. Adding a section on each would be informative.
Your statement is very well crafted. Your "What's Missing and Why" section is a good transition between your intro section and your interests section. Grammar is excellent; I did not see any errors. Logically, it flows very well. Some of your closing remarks would benefit from being in the intro, thereby strengthening your post's structure. Otherwise, the quality of the writing is very good. Thanks for a great read!
Cheers,
Jose
Comment #2: Hey Brendan,
Great job on the avatar autobiography. I like your interpretation of the assignment and you did a good job analyzing yourself through the lens of Facebook. The central theme I gathered was that you are a fairly private person, at least on Facebook, but that does not mean their is not substance to your life in the real world. I enjoyed hearing about your interests and how by looking at your Facebook page I wouldn't really be able to gather any of that information about you...and it sounds like that is what you want.
I think you could dig deeper into why you are private on Facebook. Does Facebook not present you opportunity to share who you are? Because you are private on Facebook your representation has altered to be something you may not really be in real life. Facebook may be creating an image for you in peoples eyes that you may not necessarily want. Moreover, you may want to touch on privacy of Facebook. Would you be less private if your Facebook settings were hiding some things from certain people?
Beyond that I think your avatar page was awesome and I really did enjoy reading it and getting to know more about you.
Cooper
