Difference between revisions of "Talk:Sadhana Ramaseshadri"

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(Created page with "Hi Sadhana! I really enjoyed reading your data identity statement! My full name is also very unique so it is easy to search myself up and find results only about myself. Thi...")
 
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Hi Sadhana!  
 
Hi Sadhana!  
  
I really enjoyed reading your data identity statement! My full name is also very unique so it is easy to search myself up and find results only about myself. This also makes it a little scary, knowing that our information so easy find. I thought your essay was well written however, I feel you could add a little bit more emphasis on your “thesis statement” or purpose. Your introduction mentions your main purpose however, I feel like if this is explained more and also brought up throughout your essay, your statement will be more cohesive. It could also be a good idea to add a sentence or two mentioning the ethical context of your argument.  
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I really enjoyed reading your data identity statement! My full name is also very unique so it is easy to search myself up and find results only about myself. This also makes it a little scary, knowing that our information so easy find. I thought your essay was well written however, I feel you could add a little bit more emphasis on your “thesis statement” or purpose. Your introduction mentions your main purpose however, I feel like if this is explained more and also brought up throughout your essay, your statement will be more cohesive. It could also be a good idea to add a sentence or two mentioning the ethical context of your argument. I also think adding pictures will allow readers to really visualize the research you did on Google for this assignment. Giving a visual example of how searching your name results to mostly only information about you might be a good idea. I like that you have a section for Ethical Implications. Adding some information from lectures or readings might be a good addition to your writing. Overall, I think your statement is very thought-provoking and I look forward to reading your final draft!  
 
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I also think adding pictures will allow readers to really visualize the research you did on Google for this assignment. Giving a visual example of how searching your name results to mostly only information about you might be a good idea. I like that you have a section for Ethical Implications. Adding some information from lectures or readings might be a good addition to your writing. Overall, I think your statement is very thought-provoking and I look forward to reading your final draft!  
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Best,
 
Best,
 
Shriya Bajagur
 
Shriya Bajagur

Revision as of 17:32, 23 February 2021

Hi Sadhana!

I really enjoyed reading your data identity statement! My full name is also very unique so it is easy to search myself up and find results only about myself. This also makes it a little scary, knowing that our information so easy find. I thought your essay was well written however, I feel you could add a little bit more emphasis on your “thesis statement” or purpose. Your introduction mentions your main purpose however, I feel like if this is explained more and also brought up throughout your essay, your statement will be more cohesive. It could also be a good idea to add a sentence or two mentioning the ethical context of your argument. I also think adding pictures will allow readers to really visualize the research you did on Google for this assignment. Giving a visual example of how searching your name results to mostly only information about you might be a good idea. I like that you have a section for Ethical Implications. Adding some information from lectures or readings might be a good addition to your writing. Overall, I think your statement is very thought-provoking and I look forward to reading your final draft!

Best, Shriya Bajagur