Difference between revisions of "Talk:Marisa Lamberty"
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It was a little confusing in the opening paragraph, seeing the mix of Marisa in third-person and "I." However, as I read on and re-read the paragraph a several times (I should note that I am quite bad at reading comprehension), it was very amusing to find out that you actually wrote this page as your Avatar. After sorting that fact, I was able to understand and navigate the rest of the page easily. Your tone is very objective and clean, writing it as a study of your Facebook page. I appreciate how objective it is - it allows me to synchronize as the unacquainted user who is truly seeing your public Facebook profile for the first time. However, I wish you included more details about "your" thoughts, not your Avatar's. Even when you chose to pick less and less "likes" in recent years, what led you to that behavior? What are your thoughts about privacy on Facebook? I think you did a wonderful job with the layout of the page. I might change the introduction paragraph to go above the table of contents, or even write a separate opening paragraph to highlight the purpose of this assignment. -- Chihiro | It was a little confusing in the opening paragraph, seeing the mix of Marisa in third-person and "I." However, as I read on and re-read the paragraph a several times (I should note that I am quite bad at reading comprehension), it was very amusing to find out that you actually wrote this page as your Avatar. After sorting that fact, I was able to understand and navigate the rest of the page easily. Your tone is very objective and clean, writing it as a study of your Facebook page. I appreciate how objective it is - it allows me to synchronize as the unacquainted user who is truly seeing your public Facebook profile for the first time. However, I wish you included more details about "your" thoughts, not your Avatar's. Even when you chose to pick less and less "likes" in recent years, what led you to that behavior? What are your thoughts about privacy on Facebook? I think you did a wonderful job with the layout of the page. I might change the introduction paragraph to go above the table of contents, or even write a separate opening paragraph to highlight the purpose of this assignment. -- Chihiro | ||
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| + | ==Second Comment - Aaron Fogle== | ||
| + | From a slightly confusing beginning, I was left not necessarily knowing who was initiating the conversation, but it lead to a great concept that I was not expecting as you were going to tell your autobiography from your avatar’s point of view. Having the structure start from the beginning, a preview to the use of Facebook and then going through the facts, changes through time, and finally an analysis, it painted a detailed picture of the journey behind not just the information on your Facebook, but also the personality that the avatar has created. The facts about the “About” was an entertaining excerpt, which you said that the lack of information there was uncommunicative, but I look at as more could be conveyed with not saying anything at all. On top of that, I thought your analysis was deeply thorough in the explanation of how there is just a gap between you and the avatar. I would like to potentially see more reasoning on why you have chosen to use your Facebook in this “distant” kind of way. You started to touch base on this in the last section, but maybe writing in more detail about specific features that Facebook offers and how you use them, either consciously or subconsciously, in order to fit your model of Facebook usage. This could help in getting an even better concrete understanding of authenticity, embodiment, and temporality. But all in all, this is very well put together. | ||
Latest revision as of 23:35, 23 November 2012
It was a little confusing in the opening paragraph, seeing the mix of Marisa in third-person and "I." However, as I read on and re-read the paragraph a several times (I should note that I am quite bad at reading comprehension), it was very amusing to find out that you actually wrote this page as your Avatar. After sorting that fact, I was able to understand and navigate the rest of the page easily. Your tone is very objective and clean, writing it as a study of your Facebook page. I appreciate how objective it is - it allows me to synchronize as the unacquainted user who is truly seeing your public Facebook profile for the first time. However, I wish you included more details about "your" thoughts, not your Avatar's. Even when you chose to pick less and less "likes" in recent years, what led you to that behavior? What are your thoughts about privacy on Facebook? I think you did a wonderful job with the layout of the page. I might change the introduction paragraph to go above the table of contents, or even write a separate opening paragraph to highlight the purpose of this assignment. -- Chihiro
Second Comment - Aaron Fogle
From a slightly confusing beginning, I was left not necessarily knowing who was initiating the conversation, but it lead to a great concept that I was not expecting as you were going to tell your autobiography from your avatar’s point of view. Having the structure start from the beginning, a preview to the use of Facebook and then going through the facts, changes through time, and finally an analysis, it painted a detailed picture of the journey behind not just the information on your Facebook, but also the personality that the avatar has created. The facts about the “About” was an entertaining excerpt, which you said that the lack of information there was uncommunicative, but I look at as more could be conveyed with not saying anything at all. On top of that, I thought your analysis was deeply thorough in the explanation of how there is just a gap between you and the avatar. I would like to potentially see more reasoning on why you have chosen to use your Facebook in this “distant” kind of way. You started to touch base on this in the last section, but maybe writing in more detail about specific features that Facebook offers and how you use them, either consciously or subconsciously, in order to fit your model of Facebook usage. This could help in getting an even better concrete understanding of authenticity, embodiment, and temporality. But all in all, this is very well put together.
