Difference between revisions of "Talk:Griffin Meltzer"

Revision as of 01:34, 19 February 2019

Comment: Janet Vu

Hi Griffin! Your page really stood out to me stylistically because your approach doesn't focus on each source as the headings and they're all in uppercase.

You spend the "Who am I" section talking about what you found, and it might be more compelling if you weave your observations and critique with your observation. Also, rather than stating about whether something was wrong or right, it might help you spice up your piece by analyzing more about how "real" some information is...i.e. how much it relates to your personality, interests, hobbies, etc. You could bring up more emotions or reactions like disgust, surprise, or anger at how easy it might be for someone to steal your info or stalk you. You also said that Domino's is lackluster, but maybe elaborate why? Which pizza place do you like better and for what reason? Is it more traditional or authentic like your group of friends, or the cheesier like the jokes you might might? It could also serve you well to dig deeper into why you have a more private online profile in relation to your true self, like maybe it's a metaphor for how much more value to place in have a few close friends rather than a multitude of superficial buds.

Some final suggestions I have for you are possibly introducing the readings earlier, rather than tie it all together at the end (which you did nicely!). It could also be a good idea to tie the reading specifically to your information rather than having a person's information online as whole.