Difference between revisions of "Talk:Andrew Bunt"

Revision as of 13:15, 19 February 2019

Benjamin Carney's Comments

Hi Andrew! Nice work on your article. I found the connections you made with Floridi's work to be really well tied together. I specifically thought the connection you made between Floridi's definition of a reductionist perspective and your own to be really solid and well-supported. If I were to make a few suggestions, the first would be to break your article into smaller segments. Doing this would make the task of reading each paragraph seem much less daunting and ultimately would make your entire piece much more easily digestible. You could potentially split things up into an introduction, your digital identity, and final reflections as they relate back to our readings.

Another structural/formatting revision I would recommend looking into is rereading your post to identify spelling and grammatical mistakes. There were a few moments throughout my reading where I had to retrace my steps and think about what you meant to say. Ultimately this is something you would have inevitably fixed in your revision, but I figured I would mention here just in case.

My final suggestion would be to formulate a more concrete thesis and introduce it earlier in your article. While I found your connection with the readings to be strong, I walked away from reading your article not quite sure what the big theme was. It almost might be worth considering being more selective about which readings you choose to include and explore those in greater depth in order to add more cohesiveness to your article.

Best of luck in your revision!