Difference between revisions of "Talk:Alyssa Roach"
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Comment from Julie Palmer: Hi Alyssa, I really liked your statement! I thought your first data analogy was clever and a good way to make this assignment more personable. I think you could do even more with this concept to make the statement feel more cohesive. The middle section was good, but very long. As the reader, I wanted it to be broke up into sections which I think you could easily do since you are discussing many topics. You could even bring the first date analogy into this by making clever sounding headings that make the information more digestible. I also would have liked to hear more specifics on the data you found and how exactly it doesn't show the complete you. You definitely touched on this, but it felt slightly incomplete and left me curious! Overall, I thought this was a really interesting way to attack this assignment. Good job! | Comment from Julie Palmer: Hi Alyssa, I really liked your statement! I thought your first data analogy was clever and a good way to make this assignment more personable. I think you could do even more with this concept to make the statement feel more cohesive. The middle section was good, but very long. As the reader, I wanted it to be broke up into sections which I think you could easily do since you are discussing many topics. You could even bring the first date analogy into this by making clever sounding headings that make the information more digestible. I also would have liked to hear more specifics on the data you found and how exactly it doesn't show the complete you. You definitely touched on this, but it felt slightly incomplete and left me curious! Overall, I thought this was a really interesting way to attack this assignment. Good job! | ||
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| + | Hi Alyssa! | ||
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| + | I really liked how you approached writing this, and it was nice how you incorporated your voice to make your statement more personal. I also really enjoyed hearing about how online identity and statistics have affected you, and how your opinions on them have changed. I think one suggestion I have is that you could maybe give more specific examples of how you found data or information about you to support what you say. I think you could also consider dividing up your "Analysis" section into a few subsections so the reader can more easily absorb what you are talking about. All in all, I thought this was super interesting and I really liked your style of writing, especially your use of metaphors and rhetorical questions! | ||
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| + | — Catherine Yang | ||
Revision as of 14:08, 25 February 2021
Comment from Julie Palmer: Hi Alyssa, I really liked your statement! I thought your first data analogy was clever and a good way to make this assignment more personable. I think you could do even more with this concept to make the statement feel more cohesive. The middle section was good, but very long. As the reader, I wanted it to be broke up into sections which I think you could easily do since you are discussing many topics. You could even bring the first date analogy into this by making clever sounding headings that make the information more digestible. I also would have liked to hear more specifics on the data you found and how exactly it doesn't show the complete you. You definitely touched on this, but it felt slightly incomplete and left me curious! Overall, I thought this was a really interesting way to attack this assignment. Good job!
Hi Alyssa!
I really liked how you approached writing this, and it was nice how you incorporated your voice to make your statement more personal. I also really enjoyed hearing about how online identity and statistics have affected you, and how your opinions on them have changed. I think one suggestion I have is that you could maybe give more specific examples of how you found data or information about you to support what you say. I think you could also consider dividing up your "Analysis" section into a few subsections so the reader can more easily absorb what you are talking about. All in all, I thought this was super interesting and I really liked your style of writing, especially your use of metaphors and rhetorical questions!
— Catherine Yang
