Talk:Alana Woloshin

Alana, I really enjoyed reading your statement, as I found myself relating really strongly to a lot of the points you touched on. I especially enjoyed when you tied in Floridi’s reading and stated how we no longer have the right of privacy. I could not agree more with you there. I think that you could benefit from using some of your conclusion in your introduction. Namely the line where you state, “As internet users, we cannot control the search results when we search ourselves.” This is an amazing point that is backed by the rest of your essay and that you tiptoe around in your introduction, but I think it would be powerful to really state your claim in the beginning. I also really like how you have the sections broken up into different subheadings, it makes for an easier read and helps your writing flow from topic to topic. One other thing you may want to consider is moving the quote you use in your intro into a different part of your writing so that you can provide a longer example, but I also think it does work where you have it so up to you. Overall I think you made a really great statement! -Rachel Becker (rmbecker)