Emily Dershowitz
The unfortunate reality of today is that everyone Googles everyone before a scheduled meeting takes place. Sure, you can argue that you might do this for safety reasons (who would want to get coffee with a serial killer when it could be avoided?), but I’m willing to bet, once again, that you don’t stop digging once you realize that person hasn’t committed any crimes. You most likely click on at least the top 3 or 4 search results and dig through to find any sort of information that you deem interesting or helpful. And, whether it’s a job interview or a blind date, I’m sure you find a way to “slyly” guide the conversation towards that piece of information if the conversation is headed towards a lull.
But, what perplexes me the most about this “Google everyone you meet phenomenon,” is that, at least in my case, the version of me that is represented online is only a fraction of the person I am in real life. These people are meeting the inaccurate online versions of other people often without giving the “real” version a chance. So, what if someone Googles me, creates this idea of who they think I am in their head, meets me and is then confused or even disappointed because I didn’t match up to who they created me to be? Is it my job to make sure that my online self is a direct reflection of who I am in the real world? Should I try to remove my online presence so people have no choice but to meet me before forming opinions about me? Should there be a known societal courtesy to not Google people before you meet them?
Google Search
When I inputted “Emily Dershowitz” into Google, I wasn’t all that surprised at what came up. From a very young age (probably around the time I made my Instagram account in middle school), my mother warned me to be careful about what I shared online because “you never know who is going to see it.” So, I was always cautious about what I shared with the online world. And, over time, that caution turned into indifference and the “better safe than sorry” method took over. I haven’t posted on Instagram in over a year (I actually deleted the app about a month ago), I never post anything on Facebook (other people will post images of me and tag me, but that’s about it) and I only really Snapchat my close friends.
So, I wasn’t too surprised to see the first result that comes up when I Google myself is my LinkedIn profile. This is the professional version of myself that I spent hours editing and curating. Setting up a professional headshot, asking friends and mentors to read and edit my bio, and carefully wording the descriptions for the work that I’ve done all in the hopes of catching a recruiter’s eye. This is a version of myself that I created specifically to be shared online with others. In other words, this profile exists for strangers to Google me and get a premature idea of who I am professionally.
But, who I am professionally is not a complete picture of who I am. Sure, they might get an idea about some of the things I’m interested in based on what I’m involved with. For example, viewers can probably safely infer that I’m passionate about technology based on my involvement in the professional technology fraternity, Kappa Theta Pi as well as STEM Society, but I still think there is more to me than just my passion for technology. There are many aspects of my day-to-day life that make me who I am, and technology, just like my professional version of myself, is not the only piece of the puzzle.
The next result that came up when I Googled myself was my Facebook account. After reading through my profile in an Incognito browser, I felt like I travelled back in time to 2015. I was presented with obsessions that my 15 year-old self had and my 21 year-old self has completely forgotten about (probably for the better). With Facebook, when you’re not friends with someone you can’t see any of their images, all you can see is what they choose to make available to you, in this case it was my “likes.” So, I was taken aback when I was presented with my “Music Favorite” of Austin Mahone and my “Television Favorite” of Teen Wolf, both of which I haven’t listened to/watched in years. So, while this online version of myself may have had some merit in 2015, it is in no way a reflection of who I am today (other than the fact that I’ve seen every episode of Teen Wolf and sat second row at an Austin Mahone concert years ago), as I’m not interested in those things anymore.
Furthermore, if someone were to be friends with me on Facebook, they would be able to see images that my friends have posted of me (as I don’t post images myself). And, I would argue that this isn’t a proper representation of my offline self either. First, many of my close friends either don’t have a Facebook account or choose not to post on theirs. So, if someone is trying to figure out who I am based on just the images that my friends who choose to post on Facebook post, all they would be getting is the version of myself that my friend sees. And, that’s not representative of my whole self.
Global Lyme Alliance
And finally, when I Googled myself, I found images and a video of work that I’ve done with the Global Lyme Alliance. First, was an image of me and my friend attending a GLA Gala that I was honored at. The photo is posted on the event photographer’s website with both my and my friends first and last names in the comment under the photo (I’m still unsure of how she got our names as I’ve never met the photographer before and had no contact with her before/after the event). There is also a video that I participated in called “Living the Lyme Life.” However, I participated in these endeavors in high school. And, while they were a big part of my life back then, and are of course important to me, I wouldn’t say that video and honor I received in high school plays a big part of my life now.
Conclusion
So, I still don’t understand why people continue to Google others before meeting. There is so much about a person that can’t be translated online. Yes, you might get bits and pieces about a person, like someone knowing about how I’m passionate about technology, or shows and music that I listened to in middle school. But, at least in my case, it’s hard to get an accurate representation of who a person is today. The “Google everyone you meet phenomenon” strips away the excitement that comes from getting to know someone new. Having already done research, people have a preconceived idea about the person they are talking to based solely on random bits and pieces of information that might not even be accurate or up to date.
I believe that half the fun of meeting new people is just that. Meeting new people. And, until we stop Googling everyone before we meet, we won’t be able to do so.
