Difference between revisions of "Alyssa Roach"

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Boundaries are created to protect us, to keep what is on the inside of the dividing line safe from threats on the outside. Often we need to set up boundaries in our lives to keep our mental, emotional, and physical well being protected. Our digital lives however create a new frontier where we must navigate what we believe to be acceptable and unacceptable in regards to what information is available. Perhaps it is Valentine's Day still on my mind but I came back to one question when deciding how I felt information available about me online: “would I tell someone about this on a first date?” This was my red line. However after contemplating the potential threats I am exposing myself to by providing all this information online, I might need a new border.
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I have had social media since I was in middle school. I remember my parents hating the idea and my dad immediately warning me about Instagram’s ownership of my data. Being a 14 year old equipped with an iPad mini I ignored him and the digital Alyssa Roach was born. In the beginning I posted everything: highly filtered selfies with friends, my dog, a rock outside. I had 20 followers and felt on top of the world, posting everything interesting in my path. Then a shift happened, I would look at my classmates accounts and they would have hundreds of followers. I followed them and they didn’t follow me back because I was not worth blemishing their follower ratio. I was uneasy with the person I was projecting online. The freedom to be authentic online was stripped by anxiety and, just as quickly as I stepped into the digital world, my true self slipped back.  
  
I have had social media since I was in middle school. I remember my parents hating the idea and my dad immediately warning me about Instagram’s ownership of my data. Being a 14 year old equipped with an iPad mini I ignored him but in the beginning did not post photos of myself. Slowly that rule became obsolete and the digital Alyssa Roach was born. You could have a first and even half of a second date with the trail of data I have left behind about myself. Age, birthday, hometown, current and pre-transfer college, major, job, family members, friends, roommates, the list goes on. So far it didn’t seem too bad. Doesn’t everyone have all that out there in the internet abyss now? Other than my misleading “first drink” post on my twenty-first birthday and some old Facebook photo dumps talking about how much I loved my pre-transfer university and sorority life, what I found about myself was accurate. This is because the information I could find regarding myself online was primarily controlled by me. My social media profiles are the largest source of information but with that you could likely find out a few more things using acquired facts such as my voting records and enough details to find my information on people lookup websites such as white pages. This is obviously not ideal that for the low price of $14.99 you could find my home address and a list of my relatives but if someone were going to these lengths to pick at every piece of data about me, there is a larger problem. So to answer my question: Yes so far I am okay about the data available about me and am pleased that it is accurate. Our online and physical personas slowly seem to be morphing into one another in our world and I want mine to blend seamlessly.
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===Google: “Alyssa Roach”===
[[File:1_m0AFvE5NeXJ6ukIJP3a-1Q.jpg|thumbnail|May your life be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook]]
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[[File:Alyssaroach search.png|thumbnail|Search results for Alyssa Roach. First Image is me, second woman showed up many times during different search queries.]]
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My first search in a Google incognito window and started with just my name. I immediately saw my Linked-In profile and smiling professional photo of myself. A few links down was a list of Facebook profiles for Alyssa Roach with mine being about 7 profiles down. The next few pages of Google did not result in anything else related to me.
  
I have established that the facts about me online are accurate but is the online Alyssa Roach a digital embodiment of the physical one? I would, as many people would also, say that the online me is the best version of myself. Perfectly lit and edited photos with witty captions and friends admiring me in the comments on Instagram. Celebrating my internships, GPA, and strong work ethic on LinkedIn. Friends, parties, and laughter filling my Snapchat stories. Nonetheless I am human and this isn’t the entirety of my life. What is not shown is my battle with anxiety and depression, the struggles I had with managing online school and two internships, the death of my grandmother, and my coronavirus diagnosis. This is only to give an idea of what I left off social media in the past six months. Does this mean that the digital Alyssa is fake? No. I am proud of my accomplishments just as I am accepting of my failures, this does not mean I need to publicly broadcast them to strangers. The boundary I drew inherently lends itself to limit the amount of information I want about myself online. Although I can feel the online and physical world slowly consolidating around me, these parts of myself must remain guarded. Not because I am ashamed of them but because people should earn the privilege of seeing me from all angles. So is my digital persona authentic? That is to say, is it genuine and real without falsities? It’s difficult to say, we can see the moon but we are aware that there is a side that we cannot see. Perhaps my digital presence can be looked at the same way. I am a multi-dimensional human being and the internet only reflects some of those dimensions. Just as our limited view does not make the moon any less real, I believe myself to be authentic online. At the very least I remain true to my boundaries.  
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I expected the results of this search to be limited. I never won prominent merit awards or did an extracurricular well enough to be recognized on a grand scale that would generate online buzz. Facebook and LinkedIn are also the only two accounts that I use my full name on. On Twitter I use my nickname Lyss and Instagram I use a spaced out version (see photo) in order to keep these public profiles a little more concealed. I find it interesting that I chose to list these two accounts with my full name because I haven’t posted on Facebook for about a year and don’t even have my current job listed on my LinkedIn. The information is accurate although outdated but the authenticity is lacking. Nonetheless given the purposes I use these accounts for this is not surprising. LinkedIn is used for professional networking and I curated my work experience to sound insightful when in reality some of my jobs were just an opportunity to work rather than grow. Facebook has always been for updating my extended family on my happenings so it stays family friendly, always focusing on the good. I would describe these accounts as shallow and one dimensional, not necessarily negatively, however not truly authentic on their own.
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===Google: “alyssalroach”===
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[[File:Alyssalroach search.png|thumbnail|Results when looking up my most commonly used profile handle. The first three results are all me and the image results are all images I have reposted on my VSCO.]]
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Next I looked up my most commonly used social media handle “alyssalroach”, here the first three results were my Instagram and VSCO accounts. Both accounts are public so a searcher can see at least 5 years of perfectly crafted and filtered moments. From “aesthetic” homework sessions and sleepovers to my first college party and pre-pandemic vacations, it's all there.  
  
I discussed earlier that I first started using social media in middle school at fourteen years old. I am twenty one now. The very principle of my social media being stable for the past eight years during which I underwent major physical and mental changes is out of the question. I have matured and my online presence has matured with me. I consider my old postings to be less true than my recent ones. I used to treat my digital presence with the same level of importance of my being. If @alyssalroach on Instagram got hundreds of likes or had thousands of followers then my physical self was popular or worthy of some invisible award. My priorities have changed over the years and I no longer use my online statistics to measure myself worth. This change has been an improvement to my mental wellbeing as well as allowed me to show more angles of myself online. This switch happened less than three years ago. I feel it had a great deal to do with my studying data analytics at my first university. Big Data was an empty buzz word I considered when I asked myself: “how can I quantify this?” Everything in my life was numbers so it’s no surprise I latched onto my online quantities. When I got to University of Michigan I added a Cognitive Science major and now am trying to find my way as a human first computer scientist. Data doesn’t tell the whole story. This has manifested itself in my reduction in deleting posts because it was not receiving enough likes and lack of anxiety at decreasing follower counts. The performance measures I used when posting online have changed drastically over the course of my eight years online, so it is predictable that my presence would not remain stable. I take pride in this; As I have grown from my fourteen year old self my digital embodiment has too. I value the foundation of authenticity and accuracy I have created with myself and desire sharing some of the best moments of my life with others. As I move forward with social media and continue to grow as an individual, I only hope this value remains stable.
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Instagram and VSCO are both image sharing platforms and therefore, unlike Facebook and LinkedIn, there is not a lot of  “written” data. Nevertheless, a picture is worth a thousand words and my photos definitely tell a long story. From my Instagram you can discover a lot about who I spend my time with and where. I often tag locations and friends in my posts connecting myself in a web of information that one could discover the building I live in at Michigan, my annual vacation spot of Canandaigua Lake, NY, my highschool friends, who I have managed to stay in touch with, and more. This is where my personality shines. After viewing my LinkedIn and Facebook, a searcher could see another dimension of my life on these profiles, but that dimension comes with filters, witty captions, and an intense screening process. I am human and this isn’t the entirety of my life. I don’t believe that anyone would think it was. In the past six months I have left out my battle with anxiety and depression, the struggles of managing online school and two internships, the death of my grandmother, and my coronavirus diagnosis. Does this mean that alyssalroach is inauthentic? No. Furthermore the idea of authenticity in relation to digital and physical selves needs to be re-evaluated.
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===Analysis of Authenticity===
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There is extreme pressure for young women in today’s society to be popular and poised online. This pressure or need for popularity greatly affects some women’s ability to be authentic on social media. Women have to walk a tightrope of being popular enough but not too popular that it could intimidate and expose themselves enough to be interesting but not so much that it may be considered vulgar. I have often found myself trading authenticity for popularity. I know what posts will get the most likes and what time on what day I should post it to lose the least amount of followers. Thinking about this now I can’t help but laugh as I imagine my physical self doing this. Imagine not going to a party because it is not at the right time for admiration or peeking your head in to see if the right people notice, and if they don’t quickly exit by clicking the delete link. The authentic me is loud and dynamic not the timid, frozen alyssalroach on Instagram. This may sound like a manifesto on my real self’s reentrance into the online world, but it is quite the opposite. When I really reflect on this issue I don’t think I want to be fully myself online. It would be nice to eliminate my anxiety of declining online statistics or impostorers syndrome while scrolling through social media, but authenticity comes at a cost that I am not yet willing to pay.
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===Is Authenticity Worth the Price?===
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I remember being extremely weary of my brother mining Bitcoin on his computer a few years ago. “Nothing is free” I said as I considered what they could possibly be doing with the computing power he was providing. I should have considered the same when I posted to social media later that day. The issue of my online data trail is not what a person could find, but what they could do with it. I proved in my exploration that I am far from impossible to find online. With only my full name you could find my age, birthday, hometown, current and pre-transfer college, major, job, family members, friends, and roommates without any need for in depth analysis or investigation. Scammers would have a field day with my data trail should I become a target. There are millions of cases of identity and financial theft and manipulation that take place using social media. I give personally identifiable information freely because it seems everyone has the same information available and how else would my Facebook followers know to wish me happy birthday?
  
When I decided my boundary for information available online about me was “would I talk about this on a first date?”, I thought only of the positives. Seems like not too much information but just enough to get a sense of who I am. As I ruminated on this idea, I began to think about what this information could be used for. Moreover what could it be used for in the hand of someone with bad intentions. I am a huge true crime podcast fan and in a recent episode an FBI agent that specialized in interveiwing victims of human trafficking discussed some of the elaborate ways trafficers recruit. One included intercepting women who were set up and “stood up” for online dates. The trafficker would swoop in and keep the woman company in her vulnerable state of feeling played. I began to think about my own dating profiles and believe it would be possible to find another social media platform from this information. I recognize that if I were stood up for a date and an attractive man came up to me and began talking to me, relating to my interests that he could easily discover from my social media, connecting with me, I would be entirely enraptured and oblivious to any danger. The fact that I find myself authentic, accurate, and stable online seemed like a pride point to me, however I don’t want just anyone to be able to have a first date with my data.
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Floridi claims that soon we will not have a disjunct between ourselves online and in the physical world, however I wonder how we will ever be able to diminish our whole selves into a 13” laptop screen. It would take so much effort to show every side of myself to the digital world that I can’t imagine I would have time to live in the physical world. Even so, we know that technology adapts at stunning rates and our world is more different now than I could have ever imagined. Our online selves in the light of the pandemic are becoming even more important to stay connected with loved ones. I only hope there is a future where we can achieve the benefits of social networking without selling out our privacy.
[[File:Find-person-online.jpg.optimal.jpg|thumbnail|Investigating online profiles]]
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===Where Do I Go From Here?===
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Where does this leave me? What boundary can I set that will allow me to enjoy our digital world and keep my body and mind safe? At this moment of enlightenment I have an urge to take the extreme route of erasing the digital Alyssa Roach entirely. My data feels out of my control and what felt like the freedom to share my most glittering self now feels binding. The only way I can see a future for my online self is constantly expanding my knowledge on threats associated with my authentic data being public and keeping a robust defense strategy, online and off. This will start with me making all accounts I can private and shrinking the amount of personally identifiable information I provide.
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===Final Remarks===
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Online authenticity comes at a steep price of unethical data use and greater vulnerability in both the online and offline world. At the present, I am not ready to pay up. I am comfortable with my one-dimensional image, keeping my strengths in the open and weaknesses hidden from threats. We each have to define that boundary for ourselves so we can post accordingly and keep ourselves safe. Authenticity is not supreme in comparison to mental and physical safety. My online self does not have to experience the effects of attacks, but my physical self does.
  
Where does this leave me? What boundary can I set that will allow me to enjoy our digital world and keep my body and mind safe? At this moment of enlightenment I have an urge to take the extreme route of erasing the digital Alyssa Roach entirely. My data is out of my control and what felt like the freedom to share my best self now feels binding. The only way I can see a future for my online self is constantly expanding my knowledge on threats associated with my authentic data being public and keeping a robust defense strategy, online and off.
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==<b>References</b> ==
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The 4th Revolution: How the Infosphere Is Reshaping Human Reality, by Luciano Floridi, Oxford University Press, 2016.
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"Online authenticity, popularity, and the “Real Me” in a microblogging environment", By Joon Soo Lim, John Nicholson, Sung-Un Yang, Ho-Kyung Kim, Computers in Human Behavior, Volume 52, 2015, (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0747563215004148).
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"How Social Media Networks Facilitate Identity Theft and Fraud", By Kent Lewis, (https://www.eonetwork.org/octane-magazine/special-features/social-media-networks-facilitate-identity-theft-fraud).

Latest revision as of 16:11, 5 March 2021

I have had social media since I was in middle school. I remember my parents hating the idea and my dad immediately warning me about Instagram’s ownership of my data. Being a 14 year old equipped with an iPad mini I ignored him and the digital Alyssa Roach was born. In the beginning I posted everything: highly filtered selfies with friends, my dog, a rock outside. I had 20 followers and felt on top of the world, posting everything interesting in my path. Then a shift happened, I would look at my classmates accounts and they would have hundreds of followers. I followed them and they didn’t follow me back because I was not worth blemishing their follower ratio. I was uneasy with the person I was projecting online. The freedom to be authentic online was stripped by anxiety and, just as quickly as I stepped into the digital world, my true self slipped back.

Google: “Alyssa Roach”

Search results for Alyssa Roach. First Image is me, second woman showed up many times during different search queries.

My first search in a Google incognito window and started with just my name. I immediately saw my Linked-In profile and smiling professional photo of myself. A few links down was a list of Facebook profiles for Alyssa Roach with mine being about 7 profiles down. The next few pages of Google did not result in anything else related to me.

I expected the results of this search to be limited. I never won prominent merit awards or did an extracurricular well enough to be recognized on a grand scale that would generate online buzz. Facebook and LinkedIn are also the only two accounts that I use my full name on. On Twitter I use my nickname Lyss and Instagram I use a spaced out version (see photo) in order to keep these public profiles a little more concealed. I find it interesting that I chose to list these two accounts with my full name because I haven’t posted on Facebook for about a year and don’t even have my current job listed on my LinkedIn. The information is accurate although outdated but the authenticity is lacking. Nonetheless given the purposes I use these accounts for this is not surprising. LinkedIn is used for professional networking and I curated my work experience to sound insightful when in reality some of my jobs were just an opportunity to work rather than grow. Facebook has always been for updating my extended family on my happenings so it stays family friendly, always focusing on the good. I would describe these accounts as shallow and one dimensional, not necessarily negatively, however not truly authentic on their own.

Google: “alyssalroach”

Results when looking up my most commonly used profile handle. The first three results are all me and the image results are all images I have reposted on my VSCO.

Next I looked up my most commonly used social media handle “alyssalroach”, here the first three results were my Instagram and VSCO accounts. Both accounts are public so a searcher can see at least 5 years of perfectly crafted and filtered moments. From “aesthetic” homework sessions and sleepovers to my first college party and pre-pandemic vacations, it's all there.

Instagram and VSCO are both image sharing platforms and therefore, unlike Facebook and LinkedIn, there is not a lot of “written” data. Nevertheless, a picture is worth a thousand words and my photos definitely tell a long story. From my Instagram you can discover a lot about who I spend my time with and where. I often tag locations and friends in my posts connecting myself in a web of information that one could discover the building I live in at Michigan, my annual vacation spot of Canandaigua Lake, NY, my highschool friends, who I have managed to stay in touch with, and more. This is where my personality shines. After viewing my LinkedIn and Facebook, a searcher could see another dimension of my life on these profiles, but that dimension comes with filters, witty captions, and an intense screening process. I am human and this isn’t the entirety of my life. I don’t believe that anyone would think it was. In the past six months I have left out my battle with anxiety and depression, the struggles of managing online school and two internships, the death of my grandmother, and my coronavirus diagnosis. Does this mean that alyssalroach is inauthentic? No. Furthermore the idea of authenticity in relation to digital and physical selves needs to be re-evaluated.

Analysis of Authenticity

There is extreme pressure for young women in today’s society to be popular and poised online. This pressure or need for popularity greatly affects some women’s ability to be authentic on social media. Women have to walk a tightrope of being popular enough but not too popular that it could intimidate and expose themselves enough to be interesting but not so much that it may be considered vulgar. I have often found myself trading authenticity for popularity. I know what posts will get the most likes and what time on what day I should post it to lose the least amount of followers. Thinking about this now I can’t help but laugh as I imagine my physical self doing this. Imagine not going to a party because it is not at the right time for admiration or peeking your head in to see if the right people notice, and if they don’t quickly exit by clicking the delete link. The authentic me is loud and dynamic not the timid, frozen alyssalroach on Instagram. This may sound like a manifesto on my real self’s reentrance into the online world, but it is quite the opposite. When I really reflect on this issue I don’t think I want to be fully myself online. It would be nice to eliminate my anxiety of declining online statistics or impostorers syndrome while scrolling through social media, but authenticity comes at a cost that I am not yet willing to pay.

Is Authenticity Worth the Price?

I remember being extremely weary of my brother mining Bitcoin on his computer a few years ago. “Nothing is free” I said as I considered what they could possibly be doing with the computing power he was providing. I should have considered the same when I posted to social media later that day. The issue of my online data trail is not what a person could find, but what they could do with it. I proved in my exploration that I am far from impossible to find online. With only my full name you could find my age, birthday, hometown, current and pre-transfer college, major, job, family members, friends, and roommates without any need for in depth analysis or investigation. Scammers would have a field day with my data trail should I become a target. There are millions of cases of identity and financial theft and manipulation that take place using social media. I give personally identifiable information freely because it seems everyone has the same information available and how else would my Facebook followers know to wish me happy birthday?

Floridi claims that soon we will not have a disjunct between ourselves online and in the physical world, however I wonder how we will ever be able to diminish our whole selves into a 13” laptop screen. It would take so much effort to show every side of myself to the digital world that I can’t imagine I would have time to live in the physical world. Even so, we know that technology adapts at stunning rates and our world is more different now than I could have ever imagined. Our online selves in the light of the pandemic are becoming even more important to stay connected with loved ones. I only hope there is a future where we can achieve the benefits of social networking without selling out our privacy.

Where Do I Go From Here?

Where does this leave me? What boundary can I set that will allow me to enjoy our digital world and keep my body and mind safe? At this moment of enlightenment I have an urge to take the extreme route of erasing the digital Alyssa Roach entirely. My data feels out of my control and what felt like the freedom to share my most glittering self now feels binding. The only way I can see a future for my online self is constantly expanding my knowledge on threats associated with my authentic data being public and keeping a robust defense strategy, online and off. This will start with me making all accounts I can private and shrinking the amount of personally identifiable information I provide.

Final Remarks

Online authenticity comes at a steep price of unethical data use and greater vulnerability in both the online and offline world. At the present, I am not ready to pay up. I am comfortable with my one-dimensional image, keeping my strengths in the open and weaknesses hidden from threats. We each have to define that boundary for ourselves so we can post accordingly and keep ourselves safe. Authenticity is not supreme in comparison to mental and physical safety. My online self does not have to experience the effects of attacks, but my physical self does.

References

The 4th Revolution: How the Infosphere Is Reshaping Human Reality, by Luciano Floridi, Oxford University Press, 2016.

"Online authenticity, popularity, and the “Real Me” in a microblogging environment", By Joon Soo Lim, John Nicholson, Sung-Un Yang, Ho-Kyung Kim, Computers in Human Behavior, Volume 52, 2015, (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0747563215004148).

"How Social Media Networks Facilitate Identity Theft and Fraud", By Kent Lewis, (https://www.eonetwork.org/octane-magazine/special-features/social-media-networks-facilitate-identity-theft-fraud).