Difference between revisions of "Talk:Jeremiah St. Clair"
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Well...its a start. You definitely didn't hit the word count and the structure of some of your sentences is relatively basic, and could be made more interesting with the use of punctuation like a comma, hyphen, or semi-colon. You didn't really cover the topic that much of comparing your online identity with your real identity, you mention your process of searching for yourself but fail to make any conclusion or thesis statement off of this. The actual content of the process and images used are solid and can be easily built off of. I'm going to assume you ran out of time for the assignment or forgot about it but adding more paragraphs is a necessity. The format of the paper is good that you show the Google results, then Data broker results and finally your conclusion. Expansion and re-writing will be needed for a good grade but it's a start. | Well...its a start. You definitely didn't hit the word count and the structure of some of your sentences is relatively basic, and could be made more interesting with the use of punctuation like a comma, hyphen, or semi-colon. You didn't really cover the topic that much of comparing your online identity with your real identity, you mention your process of searching for yourself but fail to make any conclusion or thesis statement off of this. The actual content of the process and images used are solid and can be easily built off of. I'm going to assume you ran out of time for the assignment or forgot about it but adding more paragraphs is a necessity. The format of the paper is good that you show the Google results, then Data broker results and finally your conclusion. Expansion and re-writing will be needed for a good grade but it's a start. | ||
Revision as of 18:43, 19 February 2019
Andrew Rabines
Well...its a start. You definitely didn't hit the word count and the structure of some of your sentences is relatively basic, and could be made more interesting with the use of punctuation like a comma, hyphen, or semi-colon. You didn't really cover the topic that much of comparing your online identity with your real identity, you mention your process of searching for yourself but fail to make any conclusion or thesis statement off of this. The actual content of the process and images used are solid and can be easily built off of. I'm going to assume you ran out of time for the assignment or forgot about it but adding more paragraphs is a necessity. The format of the paper is good that you show the Google results, then Data broker results and finally your conclusion. Expansion and re-writing will be needed for a good grade but it's a start.
