User talk:Chloe Prince
Comment 1: I really how you started off your autobiography with a third person perspective. The page does focus a lot on the idea of honesty and how you think people perceive that within you from your pictures, your likes, your pictures, etc. I also like your creative use of semantics, using words to describe yourself in ways that normally would not be used for a human being. I think it is also good that you tied in the perspective of yourself as an athlete. Professor Conway brings it up a lot in class. Overall, I think your autobiography is very well made and well written. -Chance Evans
Comment 2: I like that you were creative and chose to start out writing your autobiography in third person. It really puts you in to the mindset of thinking that you are an outsider looking in on your profile. It’s interesting that you have a responsibility to the University because you are on sports teams. I wonder, do you feel like that responsibility is holding you back? Do you feel like you have to be more cautious of your offline actions because they can be documented online? You say that if you weren’t an athlete, that your online identity would not change. I think it’s hard to imagine that it would change in any sense because we all of a degree of attachment to our online identities.
In your “self portrait” paragraph I think it is here that you really express that you and your online identity are in sync. I think your profile pictures get to the surface of your values, so I think your profile pictures may in fact say more and mean a lot more than you think. Maybe your profile pictures represent more of your present values, rather than your life values of your identity, which you mention as “beliefs, spirituality, morals, etc”. I also think that your profile is not a misrepresentation of yourself because you are not giving any faulty information, yet not relaying your whole self.
Grammar can be cleaned up a little. A few sentences were a bit confusing and could have used more explanation. Under “my commentary”, you say that “The feedback I have gotten back from people that meet me is she is a really nice girl and it seems my deeper identity remains a little more under the surface until I get to know someone better.” Are you talking about your online or offline identity? Also, in your last paragraph, this sentence could be a little more constructed: “My roommates are my two best friends, my team who I practice with everyday, my boyfriend who is also at this university and my parents who I communicate with over the phone or in person, since they are only an hour away.”
Your last paragraph is very strong and well stated. It shows that you really thought about your identity when you say, “as my self-awareness, personal reflection and insight into my identity have expanded, my interactions online have lessened”. I like how you tied back honesty at the end; it really brings your whole argument together. Something I might have suggested is to pick one feature on Facebook to dissect because it would have made a stronger and more focused argument. Your autobiography was focused on profile pictures, but I kind of got lost with where you were going after that because you discussed on a more general level of Facebook. Overall, great job! -Emily
