Talk:Virtual Reality

Dear Yiyang,

It seems like your article is still far from finished, but I can see the structural idea. Anyway I wish to make the most out of it and hopefully you find my following advice useful.

1. Length The length is apparently under what is requested by the criteria, so I am just going to leave yourself to it.

2. Structure (1) An opening paragraph that summarizes the issue? There is indeed an opening paragraph that summarizes VR technology with a board coverage of perspectives. However, I must say I don’t see any ethical issue raised in the opening paragraph and it is supposed to be the center topic of our assignment. Make sure you add it to the opening paragraph once you choose what to write about. The concept of VR is quite a controversial topic, but to be honest the ethical standpoint of the technology can be somewhat arbitrary, and it may take some time to find one real-life scenario that demonstrates its effects, so be quick to find one! (2)The body of the article in one or more sections? There are numerous sections to the article, covering quite a few perspectives to the issue. Although I think you may want to eliminate some unnecessary sections(information) and focus more on the ethical issue, which supposedly should be scattered among multiple sections instead of being conclusively discussed within one section. I honestly feel like you have a slight misinterpretation of the assignment—try read it thoroughly. However, I think you did well on narrowing down the history section. (3) Statements are backed up by references to reliable sources? The statements are indeed mostly backed up by reliable sources. Although I wonder whether it is okay to use reference from online dictionary to interpret terminologies. I suggest you talk to the professor about this. But other than that the reference section as a whole is made pretty solid.

3. Clarity Is the issue at stake clear to you? Do you understand what are the ethical issues exposed in the article and why they are important? The issue was not clear to me. Like I mentioned I actually cannot identify the ethical issue involved in VR from the materials you have written so far. Make sure you go on the internet and find an ethical issue that revolves around the technology and use it as an focus instead of the development process of the technology. I actually looked up a few topics for you to pick from, for examples: “Meta to add 'Personal Boundary' to virtual worlds after woman alleges rape in metaverse” “Meta moves to tackle creepy behaviour in virtual reality" “Virtual Reality Church: Worshipping in the metaverse” “No Groping: Meta Adds 'Personal Boundary' Feature to Stop Harassment in VR” “Jolly Good, Otsuka sign $40M deal for behavioural therapy VR” Feel free to use any of it! Remember you can always find ethical issues related to VR on news and medias.

4. Objective reporting (Neutral point of view) Is the article reporting on ethical issues / controversies objectively? Throughout the reading I notice you maintain a neutral point of view and there is no sign of personal opinions, which is great! And make sure you remember that, by the time you have identified the ethical issue you are going to use, you might want to cover as many perspectives to the issue as you can find. I think that is going to be a good focus.

And that is all I could come up so far. Good luck on the rest of your page and you are always welcome to reach out :)

Junxi