Talk:Tom Pickren
Hi Tom! I really enjoyed reading your piece. It was very different from the other articles I have read and I really liked how you blended your music with your social media usage and found it to work really well together. I had no idea how important it was for influencers to retweet/like content in order for it to become popular and it totally makes sense why your social media is tailored to your hobbies/passions in order to be seen by someone. I think it would be super interesting to compare and contrast a normal social media site like Instagram or Twitter with a social media site designed for sharing and streaming music like SoundCloud or Spotify and how your habits on each platform differ. Additionally, I think your piece could really improve by using some quotes from readings from class. It would be really interesting to see how you self-present yourself on these different platforms and maybe show examples of some inspiration. Lastly, your post had a few typos but other than that it was great! -Jamie Leeds
Hi Tom, Your piece is the beginning of something great. I like that your autobiography is in the third person. It was a surprise to me and it worked well, especially with the topic you chose. I like your opening it was very captivating but, you can go more into the beginning of your Dj persona. For the "What You Say" portion, I feel that you can add more to it and talk about how it impacted your audience. Did it make your music more popular? Where you able to gain more followers who listened to the same music as you? I would recommend the same things for the "What You Do" portion as well. I'm not exactly sure what message you were trying to convey throughout your autobiography. I feel that it is vague and needs to be fleshed out to develop a clear topic. I do suggest incorporating a few readings in regards to your bio. With what you have you can incorporate the Smith and Watson Audiences section. I think the "branding" piece from Smith and Watson would also go along great with the opening of your bio. It would be of benefit to add expound upon your social media presence and how it is relative to you, but other than that it was a great start.
Best of luck! -- Cydney
Corina
Great start, Tom!
When revising, consider your colleagues’ comments above: they are spot on.
Please consider them fully for your revision.
If you have any questions, or need help, please let me know.
Best,
Corina
