Talk:Shameel Latif

Shameel, I enjoyed your unique use of perspectives in your writing. I thought that using uncertainty added style and helped show something about yourself ("either he is not secretive, or doesn't care if people view his profile"). I was a little confused by when you write: "This likely implies that either he does not use Facebook often or that he uses it just to keep up with other people". I just felt like you were trying to say that you only use it to keep up with other people. I'm not sure if that's what you intended. I like the style that you are going for, but I think you could change the wording up a bit. You could maybe change one of the instances where you use "likely implies" because it felt a little repetitive.

I liked your change to the first person in the conclusion. The tone changes to provide a more over arching feel. Towards the end in your part about LinkedIn, you write: "it can be seen that he has a variety of interests, which keeps him interesting, and has work experience in many fields, which not only...". I think this could be split into multiple sentences. Overall I felt like I learned lots about you, and about what you think of your online self. Thank you for sharing!

-- Paulo Warren

Second Response:

Hi Shameel! Thank you for including your target audience and how you intended your piece to be read at the very beginning. I thought it was very interesting, although a bit choppy. Maybe trying to integrate the observations of the onlooker, which were fairly insightful and consistent across platforms, and the proposed meaning of those observations would make the entry a little more smooth to read. Also maybe keeping the person looking at your account consistent across the platforms may help with how it reads as well. Overall, I did like the way it read and the fact that you sort of told the reader how to read it helped a lot in that process.

I also enjoyed the ethical analysis you gave at the end. It made things more real and helped me, at least, to understand you, what you stand for, and how you present yourself. It does seem that you are consistent in how you present yourself over your Facebook and Instagram accounts, which is cool to me, as it seems that people tend to have several personas or parts of their personalities presented in their social media accounts. I think it would be cool to see a little more about how your LinkedIn plays a part in your personality, or how you reflect your personality on your LinkedIn, and how that has or has not impacted the way you present yourself on your other social media accounts.

-Alyssa Schmidt

Corina

Great job, Shameel!

I enjoyed reading this comparative study on your online identity and appreciated the clarity with which you approached and deconstructed your own understanding of the online self.

For revision, your colleagues’ comments above are spot on. Please consider them fully.

Best,

Corina