Talk:Sanika Babtiwale

Comment 1

You present an overall good analysis of your online identity throughout the years but I think you could provide more explanation for your intentions or how you think others were perceiving you. You accomplish this in “The Beginning,” but not as much in the following sections. Expand “The Middle” and try to give specific examples of how you presented yourself during this time period. How do you think your Facebook friends reacted to your reduced activity, if at all?

I like that you discuss multiple readings from class, but it takes up a lot of space in your article. I suggest reducing this down to just one or two so you can focus more on speaking specifically about you and your profile. If you do decide to keep them, it might be a good idea to paraphrase rather than directly quote.

In “Two Sides, One Coin,” you mention “I changed from an eager, active user to a cautious one, which is an exact portrayal of my identity.” If I’m interpreting this correctly, I suggest providing more explanation for how or why you’ve become cautious in “real life.”

I like the structure of your page and how it walks the reader through the different stages of your life and corresponding Facebook activity. You provide plentiful, easily viewable images. I like the postscript you have at the end that ties to an interesting article.

I did find one grammatical mistake. For the sentence “Deciding what to reveal about oneself on social media is a serious choice that has to made before any post,” I believe you intended to say “…choice that has to be made.”

- Joshua Walker

Comment 2

Really really great post Sanika! Your writing style is unique and after the introduction I just wanted to keep reading more- and how exactly your Facebook history represents your actual self. Every idea that you discussed connected to the last and I thought that the examples from the readings fit great in backing up your argument. Each title was creative and I appreciated that you still were able to demonstrate how you are portrayed on social media without using it as much as other people. Something that I asked myself as I was reading this, though, is whether you are actually reserved and private in real life. Does your shift from posting about everything in your life to only posting some, important memorable photos reflect you being a preserved person? I enjoyed your specific use of detail, such as posting about “like my status for a truth is”, as I can definitely relate to doing that when I was younger and thought that writing in chronological order was beneficial and allowed your piece to flow well. Maybe talking about what made you choose these particular photos and relate them to your writing could make them more useful. One last thing that I found a little confusing was how exactly are Mark Zuckerbuerg and Jack Dorsey one step ahead of you. Maybe I read it wrong- but am just a little lost as to what you are referring to. Other than that, great job. I loved it. -Casey Greenbaum

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Hi Sanika,

Beautiful work: I really appreciated how well you reflected on– and incorporated– our class' readings!

When revising, consider your colleagues’ comments above: they are spot on.

Please consider them fully for your revision.

If you have any questions, or need help, please let me know.

Best,

Corina