Talk:Laila Elnaggar

Hi Laila— I think you have a great start here. The anecdotal opening about your parents hovering over your shoulder was really nice and it seems really relatable to many people in this generation. I like how that transitions into a discussion of the evolution of your interaction with social media and how it has changed over time. I thought one of the most interesting moments in your autobiography was when you mentioned deleting everything from middle school. I think you could discuss this choice a bit more—what exactly about the content made you want to delete it? How did it compare to the types of things you were posting at the time you decided to delete it? I think this sort of self-censoring and sort of cleaning up of one's online identity is interesting and worth a bit more analysis. I'm wondering if you might relate deleting content on Facebook to deleting your entire Instagram profile? The autobiography seemed weighted more heavily on a discussion of Facebook, so expanding a bit on the Instagram section might be helpful too. Another part you might want to interrogate a bit more was your discussion of photography and editing as a hobby—maybe these things grew out of the social media age/interacting with Instagram? I just related to this because I think that I developed more of a habit/liking of photography from looking at other photographers' Instagram feeds and the whole "iphonography" movement. I guess it might be interesting to question how photography as a hobby might be connected to your online identity. Overall, nice work! ---Ashley Bock (ambock)

Comment 2

Laila! Your opening sentence is very strong as you open with a bold, clear statement. Rarely do you find people who are in college and not a fan of social media. I think one immediate suggestion I have would be to put your anecdote about your Facebook creation in the introduction right after you say, “But, it hasn’t always been this way”, and delete the rest of it or put it elsewhere. I love the casual, conversational tone you keep in your paragraph especially with the question/answer format when you respond with “status update”. I like how your transition is very smooth from your middle school life to your college life. I think one suggestion I have might be to go a little deeper into how when you posted every single detail about life, what would an arbitrary person watching your profile from the outside see about you? Go more specific detail into this.

Also it’s probably a simple error you simply didn’t realize (I mix up words ALL the time) but I’m pretty sure it’s Highlight reel and not real?? Deactivating an account is pretty bold. I think what would help and make this even more genuine to who you are is add some detail about how those Instagram free two months changed you, compare yourself to who you were with Instagram and who you were one month into your Instagram hiatus.

Overall, your article flows very smoothly and shows how much you have changed as you go from someone who had to share her life 24/7 (me too) to show people she was having fun to someone who only posts something once in a while with purpose. The visuals were a great supplement, especially the screenshots of your middle school Facebook activity and your college Facebook activity. Great job and good luck with the rest!!! :)

- Reeya Desai (reeyad)

Corina

Great job, Laila!

The evolution of your online identity is compelling and your insights into your relationship with the FB platform, refreshing.

For revision, your colleagues’ comments above are spot on. Please consider them fully.

Best,

Corina