Talk:Julia Pezzullo

I really liked your identity statement and the argument you took with how your parents played a part in your online identity. The information you found on yourself was very interesting and I liked how you looked into some of the data mining sites. I also really liked your use of graphics in the statement. The evidence you used from you search also really helped your argument for why you don't have such a strong online presence.

Overall, to improve your data identity statement I would add the piece from the reading earlier on. I liked how you started with the little narrative about your first phone but I think adding in the idea from the reading sooner would have made you statement stronger from an arguments sense. Also I would have liked to see you reflect more on your evidence throughout the statement. While I found your break down of the evidence from your google search or the sites you checked out to be interesting I also wanted to know more on how this information made you feel or what you thought about it from an ethics point of view. Seeing how your parents played a role in your online presents, you could look into how this affects the ethics of information online.

Commenter: Elizabeth Stehney (estehney)

Talk: Julia Pezzullo

Julia wrote about her extensive investigation of her digital footprint. She writes with seriousness of purpose, especially in her introduction and conclusion statements. Her introduction pulled me in with the personal anecdote about cell phone restrictions she had in the 7th grade, a very relatable and relevant experience to online privacy and her online identity. From there, Julia deep dives into a google search. Her analysis is very in depth and her efforts are genuine and detail oriented. She did a good job of portraying her surprise and concern when her contact and home information showed up on several sites that she has never been on before. She even took her investigation a step further when she reached out to one of these sites asking for them to take the information down.

In order to make this piece even stronger, I would suggest finding a way to mention your link to Mooradian’s reading in your introduction statement. Your bit about it in your conclusion is very well written, and it would tie the whole piece together if you mentioned the concept of losing control over personal information in your introduction. Overall, great job!

Commenter: Molly Bis (mollybis)