Talk:Hope Chen

Comment 1

I really enjoyed your introduction because it was short and to the point which indicates your writing style right from the beginning. As I continued to read I felt that your section titles could be a bit more creative in order to capture the reader all the way down the page. Additionally, the image in Part 1 was a great way to use images to depict what you’re talking about. When I was younger, I also created similar status’ and found the image very relatable.

Another area that can be improved is Part 2. Your introductory sentence is about high school. Therefore, as a reader, I expected the entire Part 2 section to be about this. The part about college is great; however, I think it might make more sense to put that under an additional subheading. Furthermore, in the Hope IRL Vs. Hope of Facebook section, it would be helpful to understand why you have your settings so strangers can see your images and information and how that relates to your online identity.

Finally, your conclusion is really thought provoking and interesting. I am able to really understand the evolution of your Facebook presence. However, it talks about technology and your current life outside of social media in a way that distracts from the core focus of the rest of the writing. If you could tie back how your personal online social identity reflects what you’ve learned over the years, that would pull the whole thing together in a great conclusion!

Overall, great job! I really enjoyed reading it. -Erica Silverman

Comment 2

Hope- I really enjoyed reading your post! The screenshot of your Facebook Profile was a great way to introduce the social media platform you’re about to talk about. I liked how you introduced why you created a Facebook in the first place and how your purpose for using the platform has changed over the years. One advice I have is to explain what “like for a truth is” is. I feel like people that aren’t from our generation wouldn’t understand what you’re talking about, so it would be helpful to give more context. In addition, I think the photo of your Facebook status should be moved down a bit to where you mentioned “like for a truth is:”. Another thing you can improve is your transition between middle and high school. You mention caring about getting as many likes as possible in both middle and high school, so I think instead of saying you’re “using Facebook in yet another way” in high school, you could have an overarching theme regarding peer approval and make a connection between the two. I also think you could have made the sub-headings more eye-catching and specific. In addition, I would give more context as to why you said “Facebook represents about 35% of who I am in real life”. The number seemed a little random to me. For the conclusion, I like how you tied it back to your real life self and how SI has affected your social media behavior, but I think you could have brought back your main idea of how exactly you learned to maximize your usage of social media in a positive way like you mentioned in your introduction. Overall great job!

- Laila Elnaggar (elaila)

Comment 3

I think this was an excellent breakdown of your relationship with Facebook. The way you chronicled your "IRL" development in parallel with your portrayal on Facebook was very easy to read. You raised some very interesting points! Here's a few I think would be interesting to expand on:

In Part 2, you mention that you started using Facebook for its "intended purpose." Do you have any feelings about Facebook's intent and its implications on how you are "intended" to behave virtually? Is our behavior still considered "authentic" if we're nudged to behave "authentically"?

You mention later that Facebook represents 35% of who you are in real life, but you still present a portrayal that is authentic regardless of depth. Knowing this about your own portrayal, how does this affect your approach to others on Facebook? Are there specific things you omit on Facebook that you disclose on other iterations of your virtual identity?

I'd like to know more about your transition between Parts 1 and 2. It's a pretty profound shift in your approach to Facebook, and I think there's a lot of room for depth in explaining your journey.

Great job! -Ben Tan

_________________

Great work, Hope!

The title and the structure are well-done and the style is very engaging.

When revising, consider your colleagues’ comments above: they are spot on. Please consider them fully for your revision. Also, consider relating your findings to our readings in a more evident way.

If you have any questions, or need help, please let me know.

Best,

Corina