Talk:Fortnite Battle Royale

Length

Meets the draft length requirement of 1000 words (about 1100-1200 words).

Structure

Opening paragraph summarizes the game well and helps orient the reader. It could perhaps go into, briefly, the ethical discussions that will be mentioned later on in the article. This could just be a sentence to, again, orient the reader. That way they know both the basics of the game itself, and public reception. Body of the article is definitely in more than one section, and the layout makes sense for the most part. The first section being titled “Game” is a bit confusing/broad. Maybe something like “Logistics” or “How to play”? Similarly, the sub-subheading “business model” is also a bit confusing for what the section discusses. Maybe “Add-ons” or “Cost”? But other than that, the layout is great, especially the “Ethical Implications” Definitely cites many sources. My only suggestion would be to try to find something slightly more scholarly, specifically for the ethical implications section. Since a lot of the sources are the fandom’s wiki and various other video game centered sites, it might be nice to balance it. There are already a few that are more scholarly/scientific, but maybe check through the library’s database? Especially for the stuff about the harm of violent video games. You mention research has been mixed about this, so maybe citing multiple articles with different conclusions might help, just to prove this to the reader.

Clarity

A few clarification questions were addressed above. As for the ethical discussions, the points brought up were very interesting. Regarding the Emote Copyright Issues, the last sentence in that section leans a bit toward an argument (in support of there being no copyright issues with dances). I would recommend centering the argument a bit more, perhaps providing more sources and explanation on the other side, since you use the US Copyright Office’s standards really well to set up one side of the argument. So, after “This theft prompted a debate…” maybe a sentence or two explaining the belief that the dances were stolen.

Objective reporting (Neutral point of view)

For the most part, this is written from a neutral point of view. There were a few instances that were only slightly less objective. Regarding “Emote Copyright Issues,” the last sentence in that section leans a bit toward an argument (in support of there being no copyright issues with dances). The beginning of the sentence “So it seems” is particularly what really feels like an opinion. I would recommend centering the argument a bit more, perhaps providing more sources and explanation on the other side, since you use the US Copyright Office’s standards really well to set up one side of the argument. So, after “This theft prompted a debate…” maybe a sentence or two explaining the belief that the dances were stolen. Similarly, in “Shooter Games and Violence,” it reads like there’s an opinion or point of view being argued (though it’s a really interesting section and should definitely be included!). Specifically, the last two sentences of the first paragraph (“At first glance…enjoy losing). I think you do a good job here of presenting both sides, but those two sentences seem like opinion.

Reviewed by Madison Wigley