Talk:Fate/Grand Order
Length: The length of the article is about half of what is needed. What you have is great. By expanding on the sections you outlined, and perhaps by adding a few more sections (Maybe a section for the reception/ratings of the game/anime/movie? Maybe more on the plot on the anime, movie, or game?) you could reach the word count.
Structure: 1. The opening paragraph summarizes the product along with the ethical issues including the portrayal of other cultures’ historical figures, in-game events, the gacha system, and censorship of the characters. If you are going to talk about the gender binary in the ethical concerns, make sure this is also reflected in the initial summary (you could even generalize some of the ideas to “portrayal of the servant’s appearances” based on what you are going to talk about with the gender binary).
2. The body of the article is separated into multiple sections, including Gameplay, Adaptations, and Ethical Issues. Each of the sections is further separated into smaller topics.
3. The references seem to be from reliable sources. The only thing that I’m not totally sure about would be the Wiki page, but it seems like not just anyone can edit it so it should be good. There are some parts of your writing that I feel could have needed a citation such as the “By August 2021, the game had generated about $5.5 billion…” part among others.
Clarity:
Servant Skin Color Concerns: The ethical issues are quite clear. In the photo, you could include a caption such as “Comparison of Emiya Alter, North American version above, original version below” to further clarify that image. “Black face” is usually referred to as one word “Blackface” in the way you are using it. You could hyperlink a Wikipedia page or further explain what blackface is in your article for further understanding.
Gacha: the ethical concerns are quite clear. By explaining what other games do with the pity system I was able to understand why this was an ethical concern where I previously wouldn’t know how Gacha systems could be an ethical concern.
War Controversy in South Korea: The ethical concerns are quite clear. There is a typo with “frictional” rather than “fictional.” Make sure to stay in the same tense (probably past tense) such as in “which angers South Korea’s game communities.”.
Censorship in China: The ethical concerns are quite clear. Keep an eye on tense here as well. Maybe be more specific on who in China specifically considers the art as oversexualized (the Chinese government?).
Objective reporting: Overall, I think this article remains quite objective. The line “associating with racist depiction of black face” feels like it could be reworded to be a little more objective, maybe just by taking out the word “racist” because I feel, while true, I feel some people could debate that. It feels judgmental. In the line “Similar gacha mobile games” you could change “similar” to “other.” Avoid generalizing people such as “South Korean players” and maybe add a word such as “Several South Korean players…” You do a good job of providing different perspectives such as with the Servant Skin Color controls. If there were people that disagreed with the war controversy issue, including those as well would further provide objective reporting.
Ending Thoughts: Overall, what you have so far is quite solid and I look forward to seeing where you go with this! I’m intrigued on how gender binary could be an ethical issue in the game. There were a few grammar and spelling errors, but nothing that significantly detracted from the understanding of the article. Make sure the tenses are consistent throughout the article or else makes sense in the context.
