Talk:Dylan Schwartz

Hi Dylan,

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your page. To start, I thought your preface section brought up some very interesting points that I had not thought about when creating my page. I think it is a very good way to introduce the topic of identity analysis without jumping directly into your own personal information. This introductory paragraph immediately hooked me and piqued my interest. Moving into your personal data identity, I liked how you did not initially specify how the information applies to you, such as if it is accurate or not. You simply laid out the information that the data broker report returned about you and the information that the google search returned. By doing so, it is easy as a reader to see how much contrasting information there is about you.

In your revision I think you could do more to connect your data profile with the content of the class. You could do so by stating some of the articles we read that could help you strengthen some of the points you are trying to make. Since you found that much of the information that is posted online about you is inaccurate, you could possibly include some information from the Frankfurt reading on bullshit. I also think it would be a good idea to discuss possible ethical problems or oversights that may be caused by highly detailed or inaccurate online data profiles. Overall, you have a great foundation with your draft and are definitely on track to have a great final product after revision!

-Kyle Gericke

Hi Dylan,

I enjoyed reading the preface because of the comparison made between 250 ago today and 250 years into the future. It is a great way to start this piece because it is very true that we do not know about what “common people” were doing and felt during that time but people in the future will be able to see our words verbatim from all of our public posts we make online. I would recommend using Grammarly to check for the couple of spelling mistakes I found or have someone else read it over to point them out.

The data broker section seems to just list off what was found, however, there isn’t an analysis of the data until all the way at the end. I would include a sentence or two about your thoughts on the findings. The google search findings were listed as well and provided little to no analysis of what you found. I agree with Kyle when he says that you could tie it in more with some of the class concepts. It would help tie the piece together well.

-Carol Castro