Talk:Desmond Kolean-Burley

I thought you did a great job analyzing the shortcomings of Facebook and how those affect the identity you are able to portray online. I liked how you evaluated the progression of your Facebook usage through time, noticing that it changed. I also enjoyed the honesty that you put into describing the process of choosing your profile pictures. It was great that you mentioned how events that were occurring in your real life affected the picture you chose to be (or not to be) your profile picture, such as whether you had a girlfriend or not. Overall, I thought you did a great job describing your own disconnect of authenticity and embodiment through Facebook over time. In terms of style, I thought your piece was logically well-crafted, and well-organized. Also, your gif was visually appealing, fun, and very creative. -Cara Baughman

Hi Desmond!

Overall I thought your post was great and I could tell that you analyzed your profile deeply, going back years to pick through statuses and pictures for this assignment. I really enjoyed your theme - showing change over time was different from any of the other posts I took a look at. I thought that your use of a .gif was a great idea to show the progression of your profile pictures and it added an entirely new element to your autobiography that made me want to read the profile picture section. The formatting of your bio box at the top was really nice, but there was a problem with the placement of the first picture you included and it blocked me from seeing the box completely. While you said you were only focusing on primary elements of your Facebook profile I would have also liked to see you analyze more components than just profile picture and statuses. I feel that I got a great understanding of those two pieces because you went really in-depth surrounding them; however, I do not feel as though I got the full picture of your Facebook identity as a whole. It would have been great to see you analyze parts such as your map or likes as well.

Your writing was very open and honest and I felt as though you were sharing your complete personal reflections with the reader, which made your piece even more interesting to read. I also really enjoyed the tone and perspective of the section “Desmond Kolean-Burley.” In the following section you clearly outlined your theme and what you were going to write about, and this helped to create a definite structure to your piece. I felt that I had a good understanding of what I was going to be reading from that point on. One suggestion I have is that the first paragraph of this section does not seem to fit with the rest of your theme, and it might have been interesting to include this information later and address how it, too, has changed overtime!

As a whole I thought that your autobiography was very detailed and you took your analysis very seriously.

~Allison Paciorka

Hey Desmond :)

One of the coolest parts of your avatar description are your visual aids. From the start of your M-card styled image, to your GIF, and the pictorial view of your status changes, it is all very impressive. There is the picture of LSA at U of M, which although very aesthetic, I thought was a little excessive. I thought your GIF again very impressive, however although you include an excellent observation and description of how your profile pictures have changed and the observations that you have had, the visual GIF shows all your pictures really fast. This makes it hard to follow your description and match your observations with your visual aid. Also although its great that you include a completion of all 44 of your profile pictures, it does mean the reader has to wait for 43 pictures I might suggest creating more of a time-line (haha) image or a grid that highlights which pictures you are talking about in your description.

Next I think statuses are an excellent thing to look at and I really like your observations, but it would have been really cool if you had quantified how long your statuses were and compared them monthly and then yearly, or kept track of the topic of your status and see which topics accrued the most attention in your statuses. In this way you would have had more quantified way to see how your status making habits have really changed.

All in all nice job! --Kyhsiao (talk) 14:46, 22 November 2012 (EST) --Kuan-Yu