Talk:Chris Hong
Chris, I really like the way you have approached this assignment. Your introduction describing yourself is a really good entrance point to your analysis. It explains where the idea to split your avatar into the three phases could come from. I think it is original to split a Facebook avatar into separate stages, based on how your real “me” was evolving.
The structure of the “paper” is very well organized. The idea to focus in each section only on three Facebook elements makes it very consistent and easy to follow. Furthermore, the reader can quickly understand the changes that were happening in your personal life. Also, I like your use of screenshots from your Facebook account and the quotes you have added. In addition, I like how you have used the MediaWiki formatting. However, in “The Third Phase” there is a little bit of text between two screenshots, which look a little bit awkward, but it is a little detail.
Overall, I think you did a great job on explaining how your avatar was changing with your real identity and using solid examples to support your points. I also agree with you that no matter how much information one will put on Facebook it will never fully represent who that person is in real life. I think that is actually a great thing because people still have motivation for offline interactions.
-Jan Konarzewski
Chris:
First of all, I really liked how you've organized your assignment. I especially liked the background story introduction. I think it helps people to better understand how your current Facebook profile came to be, and the interspersed quotes made your autobiography that much fun to read.
I think how you separated your analysis into different stages was a good tie-in to how your avatar connects to the changes in your life actually. Furthermore, your explanation of profile, friends, and "likes & posts" at each stage was a good way of organizing your idea for readers to follow your juxtaposition between avatar and real self. The only improvement I can think of is possibly fleshing out some of the details in the phases. However, because the maximum word limit, this is understandable.
All in all, I think the author did a great job in assessing his Facebook identity relative to his real self and the phases definitely provided a good visual on how he and his Facebook profile has evolved over time. I think your assignment had excellent logical flow and style. I spotted very minimal grammatical errors, but they were minor and doesn't detract from the overall assignment.
./Jenn_Leung
