Talk:Ava Randa
Comment by Flannery O'Donnell:
Ava,
I thought this was a well written summary of your findings, and it is clear that you put in a lot of effort when searching for the data there is about you online. It also flowed logically and was, overall, well written. In the revision, I think you should include a section where you analyze what this online information says about you. Do you feel like it was representative of your identity? Do you feel like your identity was portrayed consistently across different online platforms? Include the extent to which your online identity is authentic. I think bringing in these concepts would enhance your analysis of your online identity.
Additionally, I think you should try to incorporate one or two more readings from this course. If you assess your identity relative to what you define as the "real you" or your "genuine self", I think you will find it easier to tie in concepts from the readings.
Lastly, developing a thesis or sticking to a theme throughout your writing would enhance it even further. Like I said before, I think this was a really great synopsis of your findings online. I think it would be even better if you added more analysis of these findings and then tried to incorporate some additional course material as well.
Matthew Steinberg's Comment
I really enjoyed reading your post! I can tell that you put a lot of time into googling yourself and thinking about why somethings showed up and why some didn't. One thing that I think you should improve on is your Data Broker section. I think you should provide more specific examples of what your profile said about you instead of saying some things were accurate and some were not. Also, you should mention how you feel about all this information about you is online for anyone to see. You did a good job including some of the readings from class but I think you should analyze the quote you used a little more. Even one more sentence would make your point so much stronger. As for your conclusions part, it seems that you mention more information that you discovered on your data profile/google search, I think you should really try to analyze the data and information that you learned from the previous sections. Does it worry you that all this information is online? Are there some things that you wish were more private? Overall, great job and I can't wait to read your revision. - Matthew Steinberg
