Talk:Audris Teh

Audris, you do a nice job of describing your use of the various Facebook elements you utilize, but I think you could have further analyzed the relationship between your online identity and true identity in a broader sense.

As the assignment is meant to be an autobiography, I do not think it is appropriate that you write in third person for the entirety of your piece. I think it would be more appropriate to write in first person as that is the customary style of an autobiography and I think more relatable as an avatar description.

While I do enjoy the ease of reading short, succinct paragraphs throughout your work, I think that several sections should have been combined as there are several very short sections, one of which (“Likes and Subscriptions”) is one sentence.

I like that you mention several specific elements of your Facebook timeline, including “Audem Design,” and then go into detail about what these mean later in your work.

Although this is a small nitpicky structural issue, I do not like “Audris Teh, IRL (In Real Life)” as a title. I personally do not think that an uncommon abbreviation and parenthesis defining this definition is appropriate for a title; it looks messy and very informal. I would consider renaming this section.

Although I like that you are discussing yourself in the first paragraph of “Audris Teh, IRL (In Real Life)”, I think you go into too much detail in several places and not enough in others. For instance, I am not sure if it is necessary to explain the dynamics of your various friendship circles. I like that you stated the different circles you are a part of, but I think you could exclude that you try “to get these groups to mingle and become friends as well.” Similarly, I do not think you should have included your friend Emily’s name and how Audem Design has “gotten several requests for t-shirt designs, website designs, etc.” and instead gone into further detail about what Audem Design is as I think it would provide further insight into who you truly are. I find these examples to be irrelevant in this paragraph as you are discussing aspects of your life.

I like your “Friends” section as you discuss several implications about yourself and your choices regarding your Facebook friends that a person would never know from just looking at that screenshot of your friends.

While you do compare the different elements of Facebook and what they imply about yourself with your true identity in each section, I think that a final summary paragraph that generalizes the similarities between your online identity and true identity would be effective. Right now your autobiography is very specific to each element and does not portray an overall view to the reader.

Overall, good job at analyzing each specific element and I hope my comments help!

- Melissa Frohman

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Hi Audris,

I enjoyed reading your portrayal of your online avatar and found that your inclusion of many specific examples and pictures contributed well to your content. I think you organized the content very well, with a "Audris, IRL" section and an "Audris on Facebook" section, distinguishing between the two identities and having individual discussions on each. However, I think there could have been a section or more of an elaborate discussion on the ties between your online and real self. From what I read, I can gather a bit of how you are in real life through the basic details you have outlined and from what is present on your profile, and I can see the different ways you use your Facebook profile to portray your online self, but how much of each are tied into each other and how do they relate? It would also be interesting to read on why or how you have come to use your facebook the way that you do. This could also be included in the "Facebook usage" section at the end. Although you do mention the amount of time that you use facebook and that the main reason you use it is for chatting online, this could also be elaborated upon with a deeper explanation or understanding of your online presence and how or why it is that way. Overall, I thought that you did a great job in the organization of your content and basic details of your avatar, but it would have been more interesting and meaningful to understand the reasoning behind the ways that you portray your real and online self and how they tie in together as well.

Emily