Comment from Roland Park:
Comment from Paula Luput:
It was really interesting to read your data identity statement since you have a more common name, and it was interesting to see what you would write about as did not find much information on yourself. I enjoyed that you explained each search you did and even your image search although it wasn't successful for you. I believe it helps set the stage on what the internet says about you and we get to hear your own commentary on it as well. One thing I would say, is I think there would be better flow if you included that intro paragraph throughout your paper. For example, you could explain how you feel about finding that school newsletter online. The last half of the statement was also intriguing because you went deep into the research on some of these online data systems, but as Roland said above, I think it would improve your statement to bring that information back to you. There also seemed to be a few run-on sentences where it seemed like your thoughts were cut off before they could end. Rereading papers out loud is usually what helps me to spot them more easily and then go back to change them. However, your paper overall was great and full of research you did on online data on yourself and as a whole.