Difference between revisions of "Talk:Vincent Rogers"

Latest revision as of 07:01, 5 March 2018

Hi Vincent! I like the content of your opening paragraph. I think it proposes some very thought provoking questions that you explore throughout your entry and that made me think a little bit more about my entry and my presence on social media. I feel like you really explored those questions through analyzing your social media accounts, but it was a little bit choppy at certain points and I felt like there was no emotion or feeling put into the writing, particularly in your analysis of your Facebook account. I would have liked to see a little more in the way of answering the questions you posed to yourself at the end of the first paragraph. Through the Twitter analysis, I thought that I got to know more about you and your interests. I like the way you speak about your online persona and how they interact with their followers and such. Your comparison between the two really helps to form a picture of who you are as a person and how you interact with those around you.

Though I like the whole Twitter vs. Facebook idea, I think you could have executed it a little better. I thought the random “vs.” after the Facebook blurb was confusing and out of place. I understand why it’s there, but it seems random and unnecessary in the grand scheme of the entry. If I were you, I would take a look at reorganizing the entry and looking more into how your Facebook and Twitter personas interact and clash with each other, as opposed to just asking questions about them and answering them rather superficially. Overall, I enjoyed the questions you posed to yourself, but I would have liked to see a little more of an in depth analysis on how you present yourself to your Facebook friends and Twitter followers.

-Alyssa Schmidt

Sean Yoon's Comment

Hello Vincent. I must first start my comment by empathizing the way you use Twitter; because I am also a huge gamer who frequently utilizes social media to interact with other gamers to get more information about my favorite games and share relevant ideas, I can completely understand the way you utilize Twitter. I also liked how you juxtaposed your usage of Facebook and Twitter and illustrated the different utilization of two very different social media. This gave me a good understanding on how your identity on Facebook is relaxed version of you, whereas on Twitter as more lively version. I feel like I especially liked your autobiography because I can comprehend your utilization of social media quite clearly. Also, I especially loved your implementation of Hamison's quote, as it directly relates your social media use.

One main suggestion that I would like to have you consider is putting more visualization of your social media utilization. So far, all the visuals that you have provided in your autobiography were two of your profile pictures and your high school graduation photo. Don't get me wrong, they are placed very well and helped me easily understand the point that you were trying to make on this writing. However, bringing a few more pictures of the posts that you have updated on Twitter could have improved my understanding better, as it provides a direct information about how you actually use Twitter.

Overall, I especially liked your post because I could really understand where you are coming from as relaxed Vincent on Facebook and as enthusiastic gamer Iteluna on Twitter. Great job!

-Sean Yoon

Corina

Great job, Vincent!

For revision, your colleagues’ comments above are spot on. Please consider them fully.

Best,

Corina