Difference between revisions of "Talk:Vamsi Yadav"
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=== Jesse Kim === | === Jesse Kim === | ||
I think what you found is really interesting and reveals some troubling things about the tactics used by Facebook to prey on people who just skim through things before just accepting them(I'm pretty guilty of that). I think the relation to the readings could have been more embedded with your own experiences as currently, it feels like in the intro a couple of readings are mentioned and then you talk about your own experiences when I think it might flow better if you mention the readings in relation to your own experiences. Also, I think that the section when you talk about your own experiences could have been broken down into multiple sections so it feels more organized. Otherwise, I think this was good! | I think what you found is really interesting and reveals some troubling things about the tactics used by Facebook to prey on people who just skim through things before just accepting them(I'm pretty guilty of that). I think the relation to the readings could have been more embedded with your own experiences as currently, it feels like in the intro a couple of readings are mentioned and then you talk about your own experiences when I think it might flow better if you mention the readings in relation to your own experiences. Also, I think that the section when you talk about your own experiences could have been broken down into multiple sections so it feels more organized. Otherwise, I think this was good! | ||
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| + | === Griffin Meltzer === | ||
| + | Vamsi, your writing is intelligent and flows well. Outside of a few minor grammatical errors throughout the article, it is a very well written piece. You do well to tie in Floridi readings in the beginning of the article, however you never really return to those readings later on. I would recommend bringing those articles back up again later in the article, perhaps after you discuss your own data identity research findings. One good way to tie the readings back into your article would be to pick a more specific theme and make a claim about it. For example, you discuss the importance of insuring that online data identities represent people's true selves at the end of your introduction. I'd recommend expanding on this argument after or even during your data identity exploration, and relating your own findings with points made within the articles your brought up previously. Doing so would really strengthen the article's connection to class readings as well as class themes, and would improve on an already solid article. | ||
Latest revision as of 20:49, 20 February 2019
Jesse Kim
I think what you found is really interesting and reveals some troubling things about the tactics used by Facebook to prey on people who just skim through things before just accepting them(I'm pretty guilty of that). I think the relation to the readings could have been more embedded with your own experiences as currently, it feels like in the intro a couple of readings are mentioned and then you talk about your own experiences when I think it might flow better if you mention the readings in relation to your own experiences. Also, I think that the section when you talk about your own experiences could have been broken down into multiple sections so it feels more organized. Otherwise, I think this was good!
Griffin Meltzer
Vamsi, your writing is intelligent and flows well. Outside of a few minor grammatical errors throughout the article, it is a very well written piece. You do well to tie in Floridi readings in the beginning of the article, however you never really return to those readings later on. I would recommend bringing those articles back up again later in the article, perhaps after you discuss your own data identity research findings. One good way to tie the readings back into your article would be to pick a more specific theme and make a claim about it. For example, you discuss the importance of insuring that online data identities represent people's true selves at the end of your introduction. I'd recommend expanding on this argument after or even during your data identity exploration, and relating your own findings with points made within the articles your brought up previously. Doing so would really strengthen the article's connection to class readings as well as class themes, and would improve on an already solid article.
