Talk:Tiffany Sheu

Tiffany- I loved your post! You have a very strong overarching theme that makes this post very easy to follow along to. First thing I want to mention is I think the format is a little off at the top (unless it’s just my computer). The first line of text is wrapped around the photo of your Facebook profile. Also, the photos you inserted throughout your post don’t have any captions, so I would add those too. I really liked your sub-headings—they were thought-provoking and made me want to read more to see what you had so say. A suggestion I have is underneath the “Asian Misinterpretation” section, I almost felt like you’re talking too much about your identity in real life in comparison to your online identity. I would try to keep the focus as much as possible on the online aspect, and briefly mention crucial real life examples that compare/contrast to them. For the conclusion, I think you did a really great job tying everything back together, but I think the “actively tries to fight for her rights” line is a little random—maybe leave it out? Overall I think you did an amazing job! - Laila Elnaggar (elaila)

Tiffany, this post was great to read! You definitely captured what an 'autobiography' really is with this piece. I loved how you were able to tell your story through your Facebook. I like that bit in your conclusion where you mentioned that social media can act as an archive for our experiences. With your Facebook I gathered that you were able to see your own transformation in hindsight. Your writing felt like a story and it was a highly engaging one. I do, however, agree with Laila in saying that I felt you put a lot of focus on your real-life expression of your identity. It would be nice to read more thoughts about how your expression of your identity online affected your representation. For instance, how do you think people who weren't "in on the joke' felt about the jokes you made with your friends? How would your Facebook friends now feel about it if they were to look back at your Facebook history? Maybe even bring up how you connect to social justice causes online (Facebook groups and posts) versus how you might not have connected with those causes in the past? Just make sure to keep the tie to identity online in particular. Also, I understood the ending line about "fighting for your rights" to mean not mistreating yourself and not letting others mistreat you. Perhaps you could rephrase it to be clearer to others? Didn't find any spelling or grammar mistakes!

--- Rebecca Henry

Corina

Great work, Tifanny!

your style is very engaging and your evaluation of your online identity insightful.

For revision, your colleagues’ comments above are spot on. Please consider them fully.

Best,

Corina