Difference between revisions of "Talk:Tianshuo Yan"
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− | + | 你好 Tianshuo, | |
− | Great job on this piece. I really enjoyed reading about how your digital footprint has developed. I thought your introduction was solid and presented your background information in a simple, effective, and anecdotal way. I also really appreciated the way you structured the statement. Transitions from paragraph to paragraph were very clean and the topic sentences made your discussion points more organized. I also thought your comparison between search engines was a great way to observe/discuss data collection. It was a nice way to broaden the topics and discuss larger implications of data collection. All in all, your piece was | + | Great job on this piece. I really enjoyed reading about how your digital footprint has developed. I thought your introduction was solid and presented your background information in a simple, effective, and anecdotal way. I also really appreciated the way you structured the statement. Transitions from paragraph to paragraph were very clean and the topic sentences made your discussion points more organized. I also thought your comparison between search engines was a great way to observe/discuss data collection. It was a nice way to broaden the topics and discuss larger implications of data collection. All in all, your piece was awesome. I thought your concluding thoughts section was also extremely well done. Your mentioning of Floridi and his quote on our generation possibly being the last to notice distinctions between offline and online states is so relevant to the data/online privacy conversation. |
Revision as of 14:40, 25 February 2021
Comments from Brant Verlinde
Hi Tianshuo! I found it very interesting to hear about the discrepancies between Google and Baidu as I have only ever been exposed to Google. You bring up a great point about how the algorithms behind each of these platforms could influence which information appears first, like good or bad news about a celebrity. I really like the organization and structure of your article as well, the headers and subheadings made it very clear what was being discussed, and the flow between them was easy to follow. If I had to suggest an improvement, I think adding a little more to the “Google” and “Present Usage” sections would be useful. In your current draft they only include a sentence or two, and I think they would be great additions if they had a little more in them. Great job!
Comments from Sam Rechner
你好 Tianshuo,
Great job on this piece. I really enjoyed reading about how your digital footprint has developed. I thought your introduction was solid and presented your background information in a simple, effective, and anecdotal way. I also really appreciated the way you structured the statement. Transitions from paragraph to paragraph were very clean and the topic sentences made your discussion points more organized. I also thought your comparison between search engines was a great way to observe/discuss data collection. It was a nice way to broaden the topics and discuss larger implications of data collection. All in all, your piece was awesome. I thought your concluding thoughts section was also extremely well done. Your mentioning of Floridi and his quote on our generation possibly being the last to notice distinctions between offline and online states is so relevant to the data/online privacy conversation.