Talk:Thomas Mazzola

Thomas you do a good job covering key details in the data identity statement. However, you can go into further detail on these items. Specifically the section about "Authentic Self", here you can talk more about how the differences in who you are and what is actually revealed. You can bring up if you data profile would be more accurate if you found your social media accounts during your google search of yourself. Maybe give the reader an idea of who the real Thomas Mazzola is, this could make the lack of this information in your data profile more pronounced.

What would also be very helpful to your reader; is adding in some illustrations. This a very useful tool that you can use to help support you writing. You can get very creative in adding images into the paper.

Your writing has a good flow to it moving from one topic to the next. The conclusion is well written in that it wraps up your argument while not completely summing up what the reader just read. You should consider adding a sentence onto the end of your opening paragraph. This should be an intro into what you will discuss later in the paper. Basically a thesis statement.

-Sean Getty