Difference between revisions of "Talk:Thomas Mazzola"

Revision as of 01:02, 19 February 2020

Thomas you do a good job covering key details in the data identity statement. However, you can go into further detail on these items. Specifically the section about "Authentic Self", here you can talk more about how the differences in who you are and what is actually revealed. You can bring up if you data profile would be more accurate if you found your social media accounts during your google search of yourself. Maybe give the reader an idea of who the real Thomas Mazzola is, this could make the lack of this information in your data profile more pronounced.

What would also be very helpful to your reader; is adding in some illustrations. This a very useful tool that you can use to help support you writing. You can get very creative in adding images into the paper.

Your writing has a good flow to it moving from one topic to the next. The conclusion is well written in that it wraps up your argument while not completely summing up what the reader just read. You should consider adding a sentence onto the end of your opening paragraph. This should be an intro into what you will discuss later in the paper. Basically a thesis statement.

-Sean Getty

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Hi Thomas,

I found our experiences pretty different. You said that most of the information online about you is not personal and does not reveal your true self. This was the opposite case for me, as my name is very rare, and there is a bunch of information about who I am online - from social media to my job. I enjoyed this analysis of your online identity but wish you continued with this analysis even more. You tend to describe your experience with searching for your name online and clicking through the links, but I wish you went into analysis of the consequences this could have or how it relates to privacy online. I also liked how you connected to Floridi's writing. There is a grammatical error at the end of your quote though. You might also want to reorganize your headers to have more H1 headers instead of it staggering down. Lastly, your post could definitely be made better and more intriguing with some images of what you found online.

- Serena Sabuda