Talk:Taylor Jones

Jesse Kim

I think this is a really good start! Other than the obvious things like fixing the pictures so they show up, I think you did a really good job of incorporating the readings so that they flow with your own experiences and it feels a statement backed by a fact from the reading. I think you brought a good point about how if you don't share much at all online, the data points that can be used to construct your identity cause a large disconnect between the person you are today and the "person" that exists online. You talk a lot about you don't have any social media accounts except for Facebook and I think it might be interesting if possible to compare how much information is out there for someone who does have many social media accounts versus someone like yourself who seldom uses social media. Also might be interesting to comment on whether in this current information age where online presence is definitely becoming a part of our identities it is better to have that privacy and maybe have a distorted online identity or share your information and have your online identity be an accurate representation of your self at the loss of some aspects of privacy.

Daniel Joo

Overall a great read! The writing flows really well and at no point did it feel like you were having trouble going from one argument or topic to the next. Your writing style is also very concise and easy to understand, which makes my experience as a reader a lot better. Also really liked how you clearly covered every aspect that was requested in the instructions by categorizing your writing into them (authenticity, embodiment, temporality, etc.). Something that resonated with me was how you mentioned, "it is not uncommon for articles /public documents to reflect our academic and professional affiliations and accomplishments". Like you, the only secondary elements of my identity that I could find were results and rankings from math and film competitions I did back in high school, and for some reason, the easiest to find out of my online identity elements was my LinkedIn. There is not much I would change, and the changes I would like to suggest are minor. For some parts, I feel like you overuse quotes, like the quoting of "ghost" in your conclusion paragraph. I feel like you should cut down a bit on this since every time quotes are used, it acts to briefly bring out the reader a bit from the flow. As Jesse mentioned above, I would also look at your image uploads again and fix those since they are not showing up. Keep up the great work!