Talk:Surveillance After 9/11

Length - Appropriate

Structure The author provides all 3 components of a good article. They provide the opening paragraph ("Introduction"), the body of the article with multiple sections, as well as the references. The opening paragraph is concise and it is clear what the author intends to discuss in the rest of the article. However, there are a few points where the author could improve on this paragraph: 1. Adding more to the paragraph as a whole (are there any statistics?); 2. The phrase "increased notably" could be reworded to "notably increased"; 3. The phrasing of the last sentence is awkward.

The body is well-organized and the author uses headings and subheadings well. They also keep sentences to an appropriate length (no run-on sentences). A few nitpicky points: 1. "Though it started to stop the spread of communism" - what is 'it'? How did it start to stop the spread of communism, and how effective was it? 2. Why is "Black Nationalists" in quotation marks? 3. "Since 1917, the FBI had been..." - is the FBI still monitoring Japanese plantation labor organizers? If not, when did it end? 4. "Following the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, the FBI and other federal agencies" is an incomplete sentence. 5. Also, in general: phrasing could be improved on.

In terms of references, the author seems to pull from reliable sources, including from government websites and from official organizations. It would be good to continue to draw information from a mix of both.

Clarity The issue at stake (surveillance, suspicion, harm) is somewhat clear, and could be expressed in more explicit terms. By reading the article as a whole, the reader is able to understand what the ethical issues are and how they affected certain communities. To resolve this, the importance of these issues could also be written about in the introduction.

Objective reporting (Neutral point of view) The article reports on the issue objectively; there are no personal opinions. The article would benefit from having the viewpoints of multiple stakeholders, including, but not limited to, how communities affected reacted to the harms caused by surveillance.