Talk:Shane Levine
Samantha Cohen (samcoh): I really liked the story in the beginning of your section titled "Who is this Guy". It immediately grabbed me in, and I wanted to continue to read your piece. I think this beginning section would be much stronger if you take out the sentence where you say "…as we know no social media platform accurately represents the whole picture". I think this statement is easily arguable, and weakens the section. The proceeding sentences following this, continuing up until you ask "who is Shane on the internet?, could be used in your concluding section. Also, in your ending section you should consider summarizing what your different identities on various platforms say about you. You could maybe talk about how in isolation the platforms do not represent your full identity, but together they paint a more realistic picture of who you are offline? Overall, I really like how you wrote this like a timeline of your social media usage, and this was very entertaining to read!!
I really like your introduction where you give the reader basic background information about yourself before launching into your online presence — this gives a good jumping off point for the reader to evaluate how your social media platforms do and do not reflect your biographical information and how this differs from your personality traits. The transitions between sections could be clearer. I can see how your Facebook presence is literally and figuratively narrowed down to your Instagram feed, but the jump from Instagram to LinkedIn is abrupt. To me, LinkedIn is a vastly different network than Facebook and Instagram, which both cater more to personality reflections shared with friends. You touched on how you wanted 500+ connections on LinkedIn, and I think you could elaborate more on how that might differ from your Facebook and Instagram, where you said you did not want validation on social media. What about LinkedIn makes you value the quantity over quality of connections? The conclusion could be stronger in tying back to the introduction and maybe address how your online personas do and don’t relate to the biographical identity you first presented. -Amelia Cacchione
