Talk:Samara Gould

Sanika Babtiwale: I thought your introduction was a clear and concise way to start your autobiography. Your voice was noticeable, especially when you wrote "excuse me, 'timeline'", which made the section more appealing. I think you could introduce your main idea earlier so the reader is not surprised by your other sections. In addition, I think you can expand on your section about LinkedIn. I feel you could discuss why LinkedIn is a source that can be easily used for browsing over creating. Furthermore, I believe you could compare your consumption on LinkedIn with that on Instagram and describe which one appeals to you more. I also suggest having a conclusion section, so you could wrap up your thoughts about your online identity. I feel your paragraph starting with "this is where…" is definitely a starting point for your ending. Finally, I think you could reference some readings to strengthen your piece.

I liked how you included things that you did as a younger Facebook user in your introduction. It was both relatable and nostalgic, and prompted me to want to read about how you developed from there. The following paragraph describing your Facebook life now is also relatable, as I think many people have gone through a similar Facebook progression. I would suggest putting in a picture either before of after your first heading, so that it shows on the page right when the reader clicks on it and breaks up some of the text.

I think that you expanded on your usage of the three social media platforms very well, and I feel like I know three different identities of you on social media. I think that a conclusion would have been really beneficial for you to include (in its own heading), because it could tie the three together into what your overall social media presence is. If there is less commonality between your identity on the three platforms (which is what I gathered from reading your article), but more commonality between the three based on the way you use them, then that could be an interesting thing to make note of too.

Overall, I loved your post and how relatable it is! - Hope Chen

Corina

Great start, Samara!

For revision, your colleagues’ comments above are spot on. Please consider them fully.

Best,

Corina