Difference between revisions of "Talk:Rachel Sartori"
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* Nice job, The structure of this piece flows nicely. | * Nice job, The structure of this piece flows nicely. | ||
* You did an awesome job conveying the idea of selective content sharing and you explain this very well throughout the piece. I love how you explain that Snapchat is mostly private and you allows you to convey your online presence in a simply non-language based manner and how you use Twitter to explore your comedic side. | * You did an awesome job conveying the idea of selective content sharing and you explain this very well throughout the piece. I love how you explain that Snapchat is mostly private and you allows you to convey your online presence in a simply non-language based manner and how you use Twitter to explore your comedic side. | ||
− | * You might want to consider trying to tie in some of the readings on a more | + | * You might want to consider trying to tie in some of the readings on a more thorough basis. You did a nice job using them in the ending but I almost feel that it would be more beneficial to state that point about "Individuals are multi-faceted and may conduct themselves differently depending on the context of the situation" at the introduction. |
* You could use a more concise concluding section that wraps up your ideas and ties the themes together. | * You could use a more concise concluding section that wraps up your ideas and ties the themes together. | ||
Revision as of 01:00, 21 February 2018
Macro
- Nice job, The structure of this piece flows nicely.
- You did an awesome job conveying the idea of selective content sharing and you explain this very well throughout the piece. I love how you explain that Snapchat is mostly private and you allows you to convey your online presence in a simply non-language based manner and how you use Twitter to explore your comedic side.
- You might want to consider trying to tie in some of the readings on a more thorough basis. You did a nice job using them in the ending but I almost feel that it would be more beneficial to state that point about "Individuals are multi-faceted and may conduct themselves differently depending on the context of the situation" at the introduction.
- You could use a more concise concluding section that wraps up your ideas and ties the themes together.
Micro
- I would change the phase "whereas if I posted in this on a more words focused platform" to something more along the lines of "whereas if I posted in this on text-based or language focused platform." It flows a bit better.
- In my opinion, your use of dashes like the sentence "my stance thoroughly or go into a long rant about the political climate in the US - formats more suited for Facebook." would flow much better if you removed the dashes and wrote it like "my stance thoroughly or go into a long rant about the political climate in the US, which are formats that are more suited for Facebook"
- For your reference section, you might want to consider using "< ref >" tags so that you can easily see where the piece is referenced.
Thoughts
Overall, nicely done! Your analysis of your identity is well done and nice to read!
-Shane Levine