Difference between revisions of "Talk:Rachel Sartori"

Revision as of 00:57, 21 February 2018

Macro

• Nice job, The structure of this piece flows nicely.
• You did an awesome job conveying the idea of selective content sharing and you explain this very well throughout the piece. I love how you explain that Snapchat is mostly private and you allows you to convey you online presence in a simply non-language based manner.
• You might want to consider trying to tie in some of the readings on a more though basis. You did a nice job using them in the ending but I almost feel that it would be more beneficial to state that point about "Individuals are multi-faceted and may conduct themselves differently depending on the context of the situation" at the introduction.
• You could use a more concise concluding section that wraps up your ideas and ties the themes together.

Micro

• I would change the phase "whereas if I posted in this on a more words focused platform" to something more along the lines of "whereas if I posted in this on text-based or language focused platform." It flows a bit better.
• In my opinion, your use of dashes like the sentence "my stance thoroughly or go into a long rant about the political climate in the US - formats more suited for Facebook." would flow much better if you removed the dashes and wrote it like "my stance thoroughly or go into a long rant about the political climate in the US which are formats that are more suited for Facebook"
• For your reference section, you might want to consider using "< ref >" tags so that you can easily see where the piece is referenced.

Thoughts

Overall, nicely done! Your analysis of your identity is well done and nice to read!

-Shane Levine