Talk:Priyanka Khetarpal

I enjoyed reading your statement, especially since I could relate right away with your parents warning you about what you put on the internet. It was interesting that you brought up using different Google accounts for distinct purposes (as I didn’t think about that as much when thinking about my presence).

Your reflection and conclusion both bring up good points about whether one’s activity on social media or lack thereof comes at a cost. Also, describing yourself as more of an absorber versus producer of information was another interesting point. It would be beneficial to bring in some outside sources on these subjects or include some kind of graph image on global/national social media usage (the Global Digital Report 2019 should have this). I could see this argument being fleshed out even more throughout the statement.

Overall your writing tone and structure both worked well in terms of being easy to read and also in painting a picture of your search process and reactions to the results. Adding 2-3 images would also help with the illustration of your statement.

Best,
Natalie Lampa (nlampa)

Hi Priyanka,

Great job on this piece overall. I like how you explain the commonness of having some information online but why you may have some less than others. I am also quite curious as to what recruiters may find knowing full well that they may be taking the same methods as you did in this assignment.

I am going to guess that this "This assignment was very intriguing for me because I wanted to explore just how much personal information there was on me, being someone who made a conscious effort at the creation of their various social media accounts to not divulge personal information." was your main point? I would have went just a bit deeper to summarize your efforts and findings into what you are trying to argue. What you say in the reflection and conclusion can be mentioned and referred to in the introductions and body paragraphs to give a better flow. I like the arguments that were presented there.

I was very intrigued with what you found in your Google Ad profiles. I have never thought of separating my school and personal accounts but may start doing so after your suggestions. The apparent differences that you bring up between the two profiles really increases as evidence for your argument.

I would have loved to see a deeper dive into the Data Brokers section beyond the last paragraph. Your findings through instant checkmate and LinkedIn could be better tied into the quotes from Floridi instead of it being two separate paragraphs.

Beyond a few grammar errors that can be easily cleaned up, great job Priyanka!

-Rachel Chang

Griffin Meltzer's Comments

Priyanka, your data identity exploration research was thorough and the results were well documented. I found it particularly interesting how you use different Google accounts to achieve different results in regards to specific searches and actions you take on the internet, and I believe I would do well to adopt such a proactive practice. This practice is quite similar to the contrast between portrayals of ones-self on both "social" social media websites and "professional" social media sites, where there is often two sides of the same coin being depicted. Improvements to your article I would suggest include both changes to structure in regards to the assignment rubric, as well as more in depth revision based on ideas and arguments. For the former, I would firstly recommend that you add a couple of images to the article, as that would not only improve basic digestibility, but is also required within the assignment specification. Continuing with the point of digestibility, there are several prominent grammar mistakes present, mostly in the first half of your article. Both of these issues are quite superficial and I have no doubt that you'll tackle them with ease upon your revision of this article. One more minor structure issue I have with this article is that it is slightly too short, although there really wasn't any specific minimum length, so I could understand if you don't view this as too much of a problem. Luckily, you could easily enhance the length of this article with a few more general changes. You do well to incorporate class readings within your article, and you even connect the readings to your own data identity findings, which is excellent. I do feel you could do more with your connection to the readings, however, as that really only reaches a small segment of your article. With this in mind, I believe it would be profitable to select a class theme and use it to formulate an argument of some sort. This would allow you to really tie in readings with your own arguments. For example, you could choose to expand on the comment you made about how a lack of social media presence could possible be perceived as a type of anti-socialness, or you could even dive deeper into your ending question about the trade-off between being more private or public with your online identity. Overall, your article has a lot of good in it particularly in regards to the actual research you embarked on, and with more ties to class themes and class readings, you could generate a very strong data identity article.