Talk:Planned Obsolescence

Starting with length, your draft includes just under 1000 words, which meets the draft assignment requirement. This is a great starting length that can be used to provide a strong framework for your final draft. In terms of the 3 major components of a good article, your article contains an opening paragraph that summarizes the issue. This is the first chunk of the article, in which you explain what planned obsolescence is and elaborate on different viewpoints on the problematic nature of this concept. This is a good introduction to the topic and sets the reader up with sufficient background information to continue learning about the topic. You also have body paragraphs including history, apple, planned obsolescence now and what you can do. I think these can be improved in the final draft by including more body sections with examples from other tech companies using planned obsolescence to close the jump from the initial example of lightbulbs to the apple example, and strengthen the article overall. Additionally, your statements are backed up by several references to sources, but a few of them do not seem reliable. The Mac security blog jumped out to me as something that should probably be replaced with a more reliable source, I would recommend looking up similar keywords on google scholar. Moving forward, the issue at stake is very clear to me. I understand the ethical issues exposed in your article and why they are important. You did a very good job being straightforward and concise with your presentation of the issue at hand, your writing followed a logical progression. Lastly, the use of a neutral point of view is evident in the introduction paragraph where you give a voice to multiple viewpoints regarding planned obsolescence, including negative environmental implications as well as the positive capitalist argument. In some other sections I noticed you using statements that could be interpreted as your personal opinion, such as “customers waste their money” in the first paragraph and “it is important to be aware of this concept and make an active effort to not make unnecessary purchases.” These statements indicate your own personal negative viewpoint on the issue, and could be replaced with more neutral language.