Difference between revisions of "Talk:Madeline Nowicki"
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| − | I found your online identity statement to be very engaging. I felt that you artfully walked your readers through your different personas on social media. From the beginning of finding your guiding path of your astrological to your expression of this on Facebook under the real name policy | + | I found your online identity statement to be very engaging. I felt that you artfully walked your readers through your different personas on social media. Especially in the beginning when you hooked your readers with a story. I would try including a picture earlier on so readers can visualize you during this time. From the beginning of finding your guiding path of your astrological to your expression of this on Facebook, under the real name policy, I found that your blunt explanation of your online purpose was very useful for readers. It allowed me to follow your journey on social media, keeping your stated purpose in mind. I enjoyed seeing how these goals played out on different social media sites. To improve your piece, I would pick two social media platforms to discuss your presence on. Currently, through your comparison of your presence on 3 separate social media platforms, it feels as though you are just stating what you do. I believe if you honed your focus to 2 of those platforms you could dive in deeper as to why you act differently on each. You could also incorporate class readings as to how your actions are similar and different to social media norms. I would also try to come up with more creative headers, so that readers are excited and curious to continue down your page. Lastly, in your reflection you talk a lot about who you are as a person, not as much how you are represented online. I would switch the reflection focus to how you are online and then just mention that you believe that is different than you in real life. This will help align you with the purpose of the online identity assignment. Good luck on your revision! -- Cami Johnson |
I like your page and will make more substantive edits tonight -- Jason | I like your page and will make more substantive edits tonight -- Jason | ||
Revision as of 20:37, 21 February 2018
I found your online identity statement to be very engaging. I felt that you artfully walked your readers through your different personas on social media. Especially in the beginning when you hooked your readers with a story. I would try including a picture earlier on so readers can visualize you during this time. From the beginning of finding your guiding path of your astrological to your expression of this on Facebook, under the real name policy, I found that your blunt explanation of your online purpose was very useful for readers. It allowed me to follow your journey on social media, keeping your stated purpose in mind. I enjoyed seeing how these goals played out on different social media sites. To improve your piece, I would pick two social media platforms to discuss your presence on. Currently, through your comparison of your presence on 3 separate social media platforms, it feels as though you are just stating what you do. I believe if you honed your focus to 2 of those platforms you could dive in deeper as to why you act differently on each. You could also incorporate class readings as to how your actions are similar and different to social media norms. I would also try to come up with more creative headers, so that readers are excited and curious to continue down your page. Lastly, in your reflection you talk a lot about who you are as a person, not as much how you are represented online. I would switch the reflection focus to how you are online and then just mention that you believe that is different than you in real life. This will help align you with the purpose of the online identity assignment. Good luck on your revision! -- Cami Johnson
I like your page and will make more substantive edits tonight -- Jason
