Difference between revisions of "Talk:Mackenzie Francisco"

Latest revision as of 03:53, 31 March 2017

Hi Mackenzie,

I really enjoyed reading your avatar as I find that it encompasses a lot of the things you are passionate about at the University of Michigan. You did a very good job of explaining what your profile looks like to the average person viewing it and what your “personal brand” that you display to the online world is.

One thing that you could potentially improve on is the chronological structure of how this piece is organized. You talk about your sorority in two different places in your avatar with similar content. Combining and condensing the paragraphs could potentially improve this piece.

In addition to what your profile says about you such as being involved in a sorority and EnCore, I believe you did a good job bringing in the things that are unrepresented on your social media such as procrastination.

I like how you mentioned your personal brand revolves around five core values. These core values were stated but the page could be improved by explaining how each one of them is demonstrated with an example. Additional photos or statuses could help improve this piece.

Overall, very good job explaining your online self, as it was very easy to picture what encapsulates you as an individual.

-Madi Willihnganz

Hi Mackenzie!

While it may seem backwards, I want to start at the end of your avatar because I absolutely love the last line: "I believe there’s nothing wrong with sharing only the best aspects of yourself online when these aspects are central to who you are and who you want to become." I think that that line is a great way to summarize what you are saying throughout the entire piece and a great way to end it.

I definitely feel like I got a good sense of your Facebook profile and how it differs from your real life. While it seems as though the two are not that different, there is a definite favoring of what goes on your Facebook to make your life look much better than it is, which, as you say, is something that is normal on Facebook.

As far as organization, I do feel like instead of you Facebook and your real life, you could have created the sections around the different parts of your Facebook and your life. For instance, a section on your dancing, a section on your sorority, and a section on your family and friends. While you effectively communicated your point, I think that discussing all of these aspects individually, both their portrayal on your profile and how they are in real life, could have been a more efficient and effective way of getting your point across.

I would have liked to see more pictures of your Facebook profile. Maybe an example post of being social with your family or another profile picture would have emphasized what you were saying even more.

As far as the writing goes, it was very professional and academic sounding. I did not find any grammar mistakes and it was all very proper. Technically, that is all good, but I would have liked to see a bit more of your voice come through. With a personal assignment such as this, I think it is okay for your personality to come out a little bit in your writing to allow the reader to get a sense of who you are through the writing, not just through what you are telling them explicitly about yourself.

Overall, your avatar was easy to read and gave a good sense of the differences between your Facebook profile and who you are offline.

Katie Lehman