Difference between revisions of "Talk:Laurita Mansour"

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(Intro)
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I really like your introduction paragraph because it is short and to the point. You do a good job of  
 
I really like your introduction paragraph because it is short and to the point. You do a good job of  
 
-Bhumika Jain
 
-Bhumika Jain
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Your opening passage sets a great tone for the rest of the article as it creates a timeline for the readers to follow. Moreover, I think you make a great transition into how your online identity shifted during your sophmore year as you describe how you began posting things that interest you instead of just pictures with friends. The narration of each section makes its very easy for the reader to follow your journey throughout college so far.
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To improve your article, I would suggest including more context when referencing Smith and Watson readings in your "My Public Image" section. In addition, I would include some sort of conclusion section, maybe a few words to describe how your balance content between both Facebook and Snapchat so that the reader can be left with a final thought. Overall, great work! -- Samara Gould

Revision as of 00:47, 22 February 2018

Hi Laurita! I am going to comment as I read each paragraph!

Intro

I really like your introduction paragraph because it is short and to the point. You do a good job of -Bhumika Jain


Your opening passage sets a great tone for the rest of the article as it creates a timeline for the readers to follow. Moreover, I think you make a great transition into how your online identity shifted during your sophmore year as you describe how you began posting things that interest you instead of just pictures with friends. The narration of each section makes its very easy for the reader to follow your journey throughout college so far. To improve your article, I would suggest including more context when referencing Smith and Watson readings in your "My Public Image" section. In addition, I would include some sort of conclusion section, maybe a few words to describe how your balance content between both Facebook and Snapchat so that the reader can be left with a final thought. Overall, great work! -- Samara Gould