Talk:Kirk Turrentine

Mutaman Alnaseri's Comment

Hello there Kirk,

I think that your topic is very interesting. Personally, I'm a fan of having no personal information on the internet so reading your writing with the opposite idea in mind definitely helps expand the discussion about public data identities. Whereas you want companies to not misrepresent your data identity by only displaying accurate data, I want companies to not misrepresent my data identity by not showing anything at all.

Thesis aside, I wanted to point out a few things about your style of writing. For the most part, I thought it was pretty good. However, I noticed a few typos here and there alongside some grammatical mistakes. These issues were infrequent but I'd suggest having someone look your writing over to point out the mistakes. Additionally, I felt that "The Accuracy" and "The Question of Ownership" don't fit together very well. The first one talks about how companies should accurately represent data identities while the second one talks about how people should be able to keep data to themselves. Although the main ideas of these two sections work well together, the way you wrote them doesn't mesh as well as it could. I would recommend revising the paragraph to talk about the tradeoffs of having control of your own data vs being misrepresented online.