Talk:Jacob Kreinik

Jake, I think this is a very good start. I like how your post followed a chronological order because it made your post easier to read and gave it a flow. I think this really complemented one of the themes of your paper which was the way that your interaction with social media changed over the years.

One of the things mentioned in the rubric that could improve your post is having more of a hook statement in the beginning. As it stands, your post starts out very matter of fact and could benefit from a component that would draw readers in and grab their attention. The same could be said for the conclusion. I think it would help to have a more definitive concluding paragraph and statement that ties together the themes of your paper and leaves the reader with something to think about. However, I like that your last paragraph relates back to the days of Facebook and how your view on privacy and what is acceptable to post on social media.

Lastly I would like to see you utilize a specific topic that was discussed in class and incorporate that into your paper. For example, Luciano Floridi's paper on Informational Privacy may fit well into your wiki article.

Overall I think your flow and structure are very solid and overall you can benefit the most by doing a little bit more in the intro and conclusion and tying your article back to themes from the class.

- Brian Liggio

Jacob, I really enjoyed the way you opened your autobiography. Even with a simple description of your seventh-grade self and your reasoning for creating a Facebook account had a deeper meaning to the reader. Your tone throughout the piece is very laid back and easy to read, almost as if a friend was speaking to me.

The paragraph on privacy intrigued me and the transition into Instagram, and becoming more comfortable with that platform went smoothly. I wish you dug a little deeper into the comparison of Facebook versus Instagram — and why you feel this way towards Instagram and what peaked your interest.

The ending of your post, ‘parents and family are not on Instagram,’ is something that I bet most students in this course can relate to. Because of that, I think you can write even more on this topic. Something surrounding the idea of feeling less worried about privacy on Instagram, even though there is more open content there (personal photos, the location of photos, who you follow, etc.) than you have blocked on Facebook. Overall, I really enjoyed your post and related very strongly to it!

- Bari Blitzer