Difference between revisions of "Talk:Fred Durham"
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| − | + | Upon first reading your intro, I was just as confused as you mentioned I would be in the second paragraph following it. However I think this bold choice of style paid off and it drew me into your article before I had even finished the first few sentences. And while sometimes this approach can often leave the reader feeling confused on how it ties in to the rest of your story, I think it made perfect sense given that you rarely use Facebook now, and that first identity you created aligns with your current beliefs of social media. | |
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| + | When actually talking about your presence on Facebook, I would maybe think about adding more analysis on why you do not do certain things on it, such as posting statuses or photos. While you alluded to several points on why you do not use it including the fact that you prefer creating offline relationships, I think there is room to dive a bit deeper into the specifics of your online usage. | ||
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| + | Furthermore, I think you chose a great photo to show at the beginning of the piece, but it would not hurt to maybe add one or two more displaying what your profile currently looks like even if it is low on content. | ||
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| + | The overall flow of the post made sense though and I think it was the right call to use a more chronologically-based outline then jumping back and forth. For your revision I would work on adding more specifics to your actual Facebook usage, even if there is not much to pinpoint, and you could also add a few more ideas from the readings to supplement your personal findings. | ||
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| + | -Julien Childress | ||
Revision as of 02:09, 20 February 2018
I found this very interesting. It's an interesting approach to this assignment compared to a lot of the others. Will comment more later.- Vincent Rogers
Upon first reading your intro, I was just as confused as you mentioned I would be in the second paragraph following it. However I think this bold choice of style paid off and it drew me into your article before I had even finished the first few sentences. And while sometimes this approach can often leave the reader feeling confused on how it ties in to the rest of your story, I think it made perfect sense given that you rarely use Facebook now, and that first identity you created aligns with your current beliefs of social media.
When actually talking about your presence on Facebook, I would maybe think about adding more analysis on why you do not do certain things on it, such as posting statuses or photos. While you alluded to several points on why you do not use it including the fact that you prefer creating offline relationships, I think there is room to dive a bit deeper into the specifics of your online usage.
Furthermore, I think you chose a great photo to show at the beginning of the piece, but it would not hurt to maybe add one or two more displaying what your profile currently looks like even if it is low on content.
The overall flow of the post made sense though and I think it was the right call to use a more chronologically-based outline then jumping back and forth. For your revision I would work on adding more specifics to your actual Facebook usage, even if there is not much to pinpoint, and you could also add a few more ideas from the readings to supplement your personal findings.
-Julien Childress
