Talk:David Forystek

Pratik Goswami Comments:

After reading your data profile, I liked how your writing showed your interest in discovering your data profile, with every search and every hit on a data broker website you seemed to be getting more surprised and disturbed as you found out more and more information about you and your relatives, so the temporal aspect of your identity statement was written very well. However, maybe it’s just me, but I had trouble discerning the theme of your statement. If I had to guess it would be that: You were cautious with how you used the internet, however, you were shocked to see the amount of information that was found out about you. To enhance your statement, maybe talk about patterns that emerged as searched up your name. Did any of the people with the same name have anything else in common with you besides your name? Or was your name the only thing you had in common yet still were getting their information while you were trying to find your own? Talk about the ethicality of this and how much misinformation this could spread if someone really needed to background check you or look up your name. I myself was unable to find anything on myself on instant checkmate, but seems to me the website was able to unravel a bunch of information about you. Discuss why you think this is the case? Is it your name? Or some other reason that information about you was so much more readily available and accurate than the ones I found about myself. Overall, your identity statement is unique and interesting to read, but maybe just add more about the ethicality of the information found out about you and maybe tie in a couple sources from the weekly readings. And add 2 pictures.

Hi David,

I think you had an interesting idea for the opening paragraph, but I'm not sure that it is necessary. What a data profile is is fairly common sense, and I think this statement will improve if you take out this part and replace it with a new opening that adds personal thoughts and feelings. Another easy thing you can do to improve the piece is to add two pictures, as mentioned above. This will make it an easier read on the eyes. You also have a few grammar mistakes that once corrected will improve the readability. I think you did a great job comparing how much you use the internet with how much is out there about you and how you always make sure you are careful about the information you put out. This definitely explains some of the results from your Google search. I think you can expand on this idea a little more to provide some more feelings towards it. Also, instead of just talking about the facts of the data broker report, maybe talk more about how this made you feel and why it could create an ethical dilemma. You did some great things in this writing and with the right edits, it can become great. -Dylan Schwartz