Difference between revisions of "Talk:David Brownman"
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== Review by Patrick Riggs == | == Review by Patrick Riggs == | ||
| − | + | Hey Brownman, | |
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| + | Let me start off by saying that this is a well written piece, but I'm not sure it focuses enough on the idea of identity on Facebook, and instead seems to focus on identity overall. Your narrative format and colorful commentary make the article really fun to read, but you don't even mention the word Facebook until the very end of the article. For people (like us) who actually know what the article is supposed to be about it makes total sense - however, if you aren't looking for the connection to Facebook it's almost impossible to find. | ||
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| + | It's clear that you did put in a lot of effort to explain your story and use the theme of adventure and travel to tie everything together. However, you don't mention anything about how your portrayal of your travels on Facebook is a genuine reflection of yourself (it seems like it, since travel appears to be very important to you). One way to expand on that would be to talk about why you post pictures to Facebook of your travels: is it so you can see them, so people who were on the trip with you can see them, or for people uninvolved with the trip to see them? Maybe it's a combination of all of those reasons. In any case, that would be a great place to dive in and do some heavy analysis. | ||
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| + | All in all, it was really fun to read and the quality of writing is really high, but I'd maybe put in a bit more analysis into how your identity online is shaped by everything that you talk about. Good job! | ||
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| + | Patrick Riggs | ||
Revision as of 02:28, 19 November 2012
I have no idea if this is even in the ballpark for that I'm supposed to have done, but here's to hoping. Brownman (talk) 15:53, 9 November 2012 (EST)
Review by Patrick Riggs
Hey Brownman,
Let me start off by saying that this is a well written piece, but I'm not sure it focuses enough on the idea of identity on Facebook, and instead seems to focus on identity overall. Your narrative format and colorful commentary make the article really fun to read, but you don't even mention the word Facebook until the very end of the article. For people (like us) who actually know what the article is supposed to be about it makes total sense - however, if you aren't looking for the connection to Facebook it's almost impossible to find.
It's clear that you did put in a lot of effort to explain your story and use the theme of adventure and travel to tie everything together. However, you don't mention anything about how your portrayal of your travels on Facebook is a genuine reflection of yourself (it seems like it, since travel appears to be very important to you). One way to expand on that would be to talk about why you post pictures to Facebook of your travels: is it so you can see them, so people who were on the trip with you can see them, or for people uninvolved with the trip to see them? Maybe it's a combination of all of those reasons. In any case, that would be a great place to dive in and do some heavy analysis.
All in all, it was really fun to read and the quality of writing is really high, but I'd maybe put in a bit more analysis into how your identity online is shaped by everything that you talk about. Good job!
Patrick Riggs
