Talk:Conner Applebee

John McCartney's comment:

Hi Conner! I really enjoyed reading your page. I like how you laid out all of the important pieces of information relevant to your findings for the Google searches that you did in an easy to follow way. The bullet points helped with that.

As far as the content goes, you do a good job at summarizing your findings, but I think it's a bit lacking in insights that you may have pulled from this process. I think a big amount of this piece should be focused on the analysis, which is where you could get a lot of content from. It'd be nice to see what your thoughts are about how the online representation of you compares to the offline representation of you, and what that may say about you and your relationship with technology. There are a lot of different questions and prompts that were given by the professor that would be helpful to think about and craft your analysis around. Something you could think about is how the offline/online representations of you relate to privacy, findability, and anonymity. I think the 3 examples that were given from past semesters are pretty helpful as to what to go for in terms of the analysis of your results.

I also think that pictures would be really helpful here too. It could break up the text to make it easier to digest, as well as complement your writing. There are a few grammatical errors that could use some polishing up as well.

All in all, just incorporate more analysis of the results you found. Relate it back to concepts that we've been talking about in class, like privacy for example. Great work!

Rohan Patel's Comment

I really liked how you broke down your google searches by what you searched to start off the page. The structure is a bit confusing, however, and I think you would benefit by combining and integrating some sections. As far as I can tell, your paper is broken down into 4 large themes/sections: google search, data broker search, family/friends, conclusion. I think it would be far more simple if you just organized it this way. If you put all your google search stuff in one section, for example, you could throw everything including your IMDB page and social media in there. Everything is just a bit disorganized. I would recommend presenting your google search results, then data broker results, then family results, then talk about what it means and maybe throw your in depth findings there. Also, there are quite a few run on sentences so just be careful about that. From a content perspective, I want more data and more information, and I also want to know what they got wrong because thats an important part of authenticity. You also briefly touch on some news articles about you, but you do not mention them in your google search and I think it would be important to include, especially if there are captioned pictured.